Home Field Disadvantage (Or, The Col(o)n: Where Crap Happens)

Nine straight home losses. Nine.

It’s never been done before in the long, inept history of the Philadelphia Eagles. Yet somehow the 2012-2013 Birds figured out a way to pull it off.

Is it due to a total lack of talent? That’s certainly part of the problem, sure. Does it have to do with coaching? Well, a certain Walrus who overstayed his welcome was partially involved….

But really, the lack of winning at the Linc Col(o)n can partially be attributed to the building itself.

The Linc Col(o)n sucks. Big time.

No matter what you may have thought about Veterans Stadium, at least the Vet had an identity. Opposing players were terrified of that place – mostly due to the 35% chance that they would suffer a career-ending injury on the concrete field. It was loud. It was brutal. The fans there were different. The 700 Level is legendary for a reason. It was simply an intimidating place.

I cut my teeth at the Vet, and let me tell you, the Linc Col(o)n couldn’t hold a feral cat to that concrete shithole. But it was OUR concrete shithole.

Remember the way sections of the stadium would have E-A-G-L-E-S chant battles? Remember the nuts in the crazy costumes leading those chants? They seem as distant a memory as that snow-covered Santa Claus.

What’s the Linc Col(o)n’s identity? That it’s the greenest stadium in the NFL? Cause if so, we’re not talking about the jerseys in the stands….

The Billionaire has sure spent a lot of resources over the last few years to install solar panels and wind turbines to his dumb stadium. And for what? To save money on energy and put more money in his pockets? Sure seems like it.

In what way, shape or form has any of this helped his team on the field? Do those panels that can be seen while driving on 95 help to keep the noise inside the stadium? Has he increased the decibel level of the crowd at all? Not if you’re counting pumped-in crowd noise.

And speaking of the crowds, a lot of talk on sports radio this week(*) has been about the lifelessness of the home fans at the games over this nine game losing streak. There are three reasons for that…

(*)Quick aside: As many readers of Fire The Walrus know, I am a big fan of 9.75 The Fanatic. If you’re not listening to the Jon Marks and Sean Brace Show (noon to 2), you’re doing it wrong. Those guys are doing great work and putting on really enjoyable shows six days a week.

1. Since opening the stadium in 2003, The Billionaire has successfully created a bullshit corporate/family-fantasy world where real fans are priced out and forced to wait for meaningless end-of-the-season games that nouveau-season ticket holders are too bored to attend. Hence the piped-in crowd noise.

2. Because ticket prices are so high, many season ticket holders don’t use their tickets and simply sell them every week. Almost always to opposing fans… As a lifelong season ticket holder this is utter blasphemy. I get that you want to get the most money you can for your tickets, but to those fans I say: go fuck yourselves.

3. The team has been flat-out atrocious. Obviously.

You know why the upper sections no longer have battling “E-A-G-L-E-S” chants anymore? Because it’s nearly impossible to get excited for this team.

Sure, everyone was super pumped up and hyped going into last week’s game against hated Dallas with first place on the line… But then the game started and we all remembered who the players wearing Midnight Green were.

That’s a problem(**).

(**)So are players apologizing for losing at home. Stop saying you’re sorry and PLAY FUCKING FOOTBALL!

And it’s going to continue to be a problem. I can’t even remember the last time that place was rocking. And I miss it. Desperately.

But not as much as I miss the feral cats and peeing in the sinks and feeling the sound of the home crowd go tingling up my spine. And a home field that actually had an advantage.

Fire The Linc Col(o)n.

And if the Eagles don’t end this streak tomorrow against the pathetic Giants: Set Fire to The Linc Col(o)n.

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