The Day After: The Walrus Breaks Out the Bill Walsh Costume for Halloween

If the Eagles went 2-14 for the season, but the two wins were against the Cowboys, we’d be satisfied(*)… especially if they were wins like last night’s.

(*)Note: We would not actually be satisfied.

Man, is there anything better than beating the Cowboys? Yes! How about completely dismantling them on national television, while making Tony “Most Unwarrently Over-Hyped Quarterback Not Named Tebow” HRomo look like a concussed high school kicker forced to take snaps at QB?! He is putridly atrocious… and we freaking love it!
For all the scorn and vitriol we have for Andy Reid – after wins or not – nothing comes remotely close to the absolute boiling rage we carry for the Cowboys and their ratfink fans. That win felt good. Super good. Like what-heroin-must-feel-like good.

So for Halloween, we’ll put on the costume of not caring about The Walrus for a week, and just enjoy the beauty that was 34-7(**).

(**)How badly did you want to see the shutout?

Maybe it was an aberration – the Eagles are perfect after the bye under The Walrus, after all – but if this team can play at this level, or close to it, they can beat anyone. It’s not quite time to get the hopes up too high, but if they can continue this streak and take care of the Bears and Cardinals at home the next two weeks, this team is certainly playoff bound. What a far cry from 1-4.

The problem is we knew this would happen. Andy Reid teams historically start slow, string together winning streaks when the weather turns and make a run… only to fall to pieces in the playoffs. So, only time will tell if this team is truly gelling or not. In the meantime though, there was a whole lot to like last night.

Michael Vick played flawless football, as he once again showed us that he really can be the ultimate weapon at QB. Besides one McNabbian throw that hit the turf, he was threading the needle with ease all night and using his legs in all the right spots. It certainly helped that the Offensive Line finally played like an actual NFL Offensive Line. They were phenomenal, in fact, as Vick had all the time in the world and the holes they created for Shady were unreal.

Speaking of Shady and unreal… we couldn’t have more of a man crush on this guy. We hate to ever compare anyone to Barry Sanders – who is by far our favorite non-Eagle of all-time – but the cuts McCoy makes, the slight little head fakes, the way he can turn on a dime, is all reminiscent of the Lions’ Hall of Famer. Comparing a Running Back to Sanders is like comparing players to Jordan, but as far as Eagles Running Backs go, Shady McCoy may be the best of our lifetime. And that’s saying a lot.

The only thing we can truly complain about – and no its not Andy-related(***) – are idiot Cowboy fans.

(***)How could it be… he called a really great game, controlled the clock correctly, went 2-for-2 on challenges (albeit no-brainers), and most importantly, proved that an Eagles win following a bye week is as much a guarantee as taxes or death.

Look, if you’re from Dallas, we have no beef. You’re a Cowboys fan and that’s fine. But if you hail from Philly or New Jersey or Delaware or anywhere other than the state of Texas (and possibly Arkansas) and you’re a Cowboys fan… well, you’re just a confused, phony, front-running schmuck. Or a total piece of shit. Either or.

We have zero patience for these delusional nitwits who claim to be Dallas fans, yet have never stepped foot in the state Dallas resides in. Sports are all about geography, and if you think otherwise, well, you’re kind of an idiot. When you were in high school did you root for the school in the town over? Do you side with Iran because they won the Iraq war and we didn’t? Does civic pride mean nothing to you?!

If you couldn’t tell, our section was filled with an inordinate amount of Cowboys fans last night. A father even had the balls to bring his young son – must have been 7 or 8 – dressed in a HRomo jersey(****). We hope that kid went home and cried his little fraudulent eyes out over the pounding the Eagles gave his “team”… and gets his stupid Cowboy-liking ass kicked in school for the next 10 years.

(****)We’re calling child abuse on that one…

Phony Dallas Cowboy fans living amongst us… the only thing worse than The Walrus.

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