NOT-SO BREAKING NEWS: The Bowtie Retires, No One Notices

Dhani Jones, the bowtie-wearing, air banjo-playing, third wheel of the Eagles big 2004 offseason splash (where they more famously snagged Kearse and TO) has officially retired from football.

Who cares? No one(*).

(*)Except maybe the bowtie industry.

Why bring it up? Mostly because we just like making fun of Jones – who we once saw out at the Kimmel Center, along with Jill Scott from his balcony seat. Bowtie Man will forever be known in Philadelphia as one of The Walrus’ infamously awful Linebacker acquisitions… Though he would still somehow be an upgrade over Fredo Matthews.

In honor of Dhani’s retirement, let’s all get arrested for dancing in the street!

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