Reason #1,976 to Fire The Walrus

The Eagles Have Been A .500 Team Longer Than You Realize

During the week 8 bye of the 2010 season, Andy Reid officially handed Michael Vick the keys to the franchise. Vick had been splitting time with then-“Franchise QB” Kevin Kolb, but Kolb’s injuries and ineffectiveness opened the door for Vick to take the reigns. Since that time, the Eagles have played exactly 32 games (including the 2010 playoff game against the Packers) or the equivalent of two full seasons.

In those 32 games, the team has gone 17-15. If you take away the first two games, both wins, the Birds are 15-15 over the past 30 games. They are the epitome of a .500 team. Perfectly mediocre!

Yet, has The Walrus done ANYTHING to help morph the Eagles from a categorically average team to a winner again? No! He has been running out the exact same players (save for a worse Offense Line), gameplan, scheme and failed execution on Offense since this disaster began. Hell, he hasn’t made a change to his Offensive philosophy since he took over in 1999(*). And that’s before we even get into the yearly clusterfuck that has become the Eagles Defense. But yeah… Lurie should keep paying him millions to continue this charade.

(*)Which is another “Reason to Fire The Walrus” entirely.

Look, teams that perpetually go 8-8 are mired in mediocrity, and the Eagles are no different. .500 teams don’t have an open championship window… They need to tear up the foundation and rebuild. It’d be one thing if this franchise was on the upswing – improving to 8-8, rather than residing there(**) – but in reality, the Eagles haven’t had a legitimate shot at a Super Bowl appearance since losing to the Cardinals in the 2008 NFC Championship Game(***). That’s why it’s time for a change four years ago now.

(**)In a league where parity truly is king, maintaining a .500 record for multiple seasons is a rather remarkable feat!

(***)The loss that should have been the bookend to the Andy Reid-era.

Again, there is no “window of opportunity” with this current Eagles team, as Andy Reid’s Eagles have been stuck in “rebuilding mode” for far too long… Even if they refuse to admit it. And it’s a complete shame, because this team features possibly the best Running Back in team history – and Barry Sanders 2.0(****) – and the team’s best Wide Receiving corps in our lifetime. But the Eagles have no Quarterback, no Offensive Line and – besides DeMeco Ryans – very little Defense. They are what they are: a middling football team.

(****)Shady is officially the ONLY player to ever be deemed Barry Sanders 2.0, now that Barry Sanders himself gave his blessing!

Unfortunately, that’s what they’ve been for the last two-plus years. But, maybe there is a small sliver of hope…

Today, Reuben Frank unleashed 25 random (mostly) Eagles facts, and the first two should make us all feel slightly better:

1. The Eagles are 3-3. The last three times they were 3-3, they went to the NFC Championship Game (2001, 2003, 2008). The last eight times they were 3-3, they went to the playoffs seven times and went 10-6 the one year they didn’t. The last time they started out 3-3 and didn’t finish over .500 was 1967. So … ya never know, right?

2. Here’s more: In 14 years under Reid, the Eagles are right at .500 before the bye (45-45) but 45 games over .500 after the bye (84-39-1, .681).

So, there’s that!

And while it’s nice to have a Walrus whisker crumb-amount of hope, this team is missing two major components from those 2001, 2003 and 2008 teams: Jim Johnson and Brian Dawkins. Not-so coincidentally, the Eagles have not won a playoff game since losing those two, following the 2008 season – Dawkins to free agency, JJ very sadly to his battle with melanoma.

In fact, the entire Andy Reid-regime has been on a sharp, downward spiral since losing their Defensive Head and Heart. Which just goes to show: the Philadelphia Eagles were never Andy Reid’s team… They were JJ’s.

Without a Defensive genius and one of the greatest Safeties in NFL history, Andy Reid has proven what he has been all along: an above-average Quarterbacks Coach/shitty Offensive Coordinator. Which is exactly why the Philadelphia Eagles are a .500 team.

And exactly why The Billionaire must Fire The Walrus.

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