The Day After: The Walking Dead

If you’re an Eagles fan who watches the awesome AMC zombie show The Walking Dead, you know that the world Rick and Co. are stuck surviving in has close similarities to the the future of our favorite football team. They’re both dark, bleak and seemingly hopeless.

While the present for the Philadelphia Eagles is filled with anger and hatred and unanswered questions, the future doesn’t appear to be much different. We got our first glimpse of this last night, when Nick Foles came in for the concussed Mike Vick. Yet, now the future of the Eagles seems even murkier.

According to Yahoo!’s Jason Cole, Foles very well could be the starter for the remainder of 2012. And that’s looking even likelier now, as word broke today that Vick has a “significant” concussion(*). As we’ve stated before, that’s a lose/lose situation for Eagles fans.

(*)We’re pretty sure all Eagles fans suffered a “significant” concussion watching that dreck last night.

Look, we are more than done with the Michael Vick experiment in Philadelphia, but Nick Foles represents one of two things: mediocrity or a new beginning. Either he’s awful and the Birds lose out (and no matter how much we want Reid gone, the thought of 3-13 is absolutely sickening), or he’s good-to-great and buys Andy yet another season. There’s no in between. As fans, we’re stuck between a rock and a fat coach.

Regardless, no matter how Foles plays these last seven weeks, the Eagles are in the market for a new Quarterback. And Offensive Line. And Defense. And coaching staff. See what we mean about the future. If you think things are bad now, they are only going to get worse. And honestly, we’re totally fine with the Eagles taking a step or two back in order to move forward(**).

(**)And yes, even though we say this and mean this now, don’t think we won’t be bitching in 12 months. But to be fair, that’s due to the Jeffrey Lurie/Howie Roseman clusterfuck. We will certainly give a new regime a year or two’s worth of slack. Maybe.

But just how far backwards will they need to go?

This time last year, the Indianapolis Colts were in the midst of their 2-14 “Suck For Luck” campaign. We’d say that worked out pretty well – they drafted the best Quarterback prospect since John Elway and currently sit at 6-3. The Colts are likely going to make the playoffs less than a year after going 2-14. So a quick turnaround is possible, right?

Wrong. Unfortunately, there is no Andrew Luck in this coming NFL Draft. There isn’t a Robert Griffin III or, hell, even a Matthew Stafford. There’s Matt Barkley from USC (who we hate), Geno Smith from West Virginia (who we’re intrigued by) and Alabama’s A.J. McCarron (who we generally like). But the point is, there is no clear number one pick – which the Eagles may ACTUALLY in play for. Sure, someone will become the frontrunner by January, but this isn’t one of those “sure thing” drafts like last year.

If Nick Foles isn’t the answer and Mike Vick CLEARLY isn’t the franchise guy that the Eagles brass thought/paid him to be, where do they go from here? Franchise QBs only make it to free agency once every decade. So, get ready for a potentially long wait until the next great good QB gets into town.

The problem is, that’s just at Quarterback. This team needs a complete overhaul at almost every position. But guess what… We can’t even trust the people making those decisions!

As long as Howie is at the controls – and Lurie has already proven that he thinks an unexperienced stat nerd who can’t draft or correctly evaluate talent is the way to go – this team of ours is fucked. Remember, Howie Roseman’s resume is no different from ours – hardcore football fan, stat lover and “self taught” talent evaluator. You don’t see NFL owners knocking on our door.

And let’s not look past the fact that the Eagles – the team with ZERO Offensive Lineman and the worst tackling Defense ever – has the MOST cap room in the league! The Eagles have $20.1 million banked. Let’s say that again. The Eagles have $20.1 million in cap room! But they’re REALLY dedicated to winning now…(***)

(***)Severe sarcasm alert!

And what are they saving all of that money for? A new coach? A new Quarterback? No. All of that money stays in Jeffrey Lurie’s pockets! That’s why Howie Roseman is in the position he’s in: he’s more than willing to keep the owners’ coffers full, while mistakenly believing the product on the field won’t suffer. And he’s only hurting the fans, so why should he care.

Long story short: as long as Jeffrey Lurie owns this team and Howie Roseman runs this team and dumbshits like Andy Reid coach this team, we will continue to go Lombardi-less. The Philadelphia Eagles ARE the walking dead.

The future seems hopeless.

One Response to The Day After: The Walking Dead

  1. John Shmo says:

    Funny shtuff man. I hate the attitude of this team and their Fat coach.

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