Fire The Walrus

By convincingly beating the Dolphins 26-10(*), the Eagles simultaneously changed the fates of two franchises. Embattled, but respected, Head Coach Tony Sparano was fired by the Dolphins, while embattled, but loathed, Head Coach Andy Reid all but assured that he would return for yet another season. Oy.

(*)In one of the most boring games we’ve witnessed in quite some time.

Again, we cannot find it in our hearts to root against the Eagles, the team we live, breath and bleed for… But we knew it would take a 4-12 record to finally remove The Walrus from our lives. Or at least the continuation of the trend from the week 13 game against the Seahawks that saw the players more or less quit on the season. Neither of those things happened.

Maybe it was the return of Mike Vick to the starting line-up that lit a fire under the rest of the team. Maybe it was the fact that they had a quarter of the season left to save face. Either way, the Eagles showed up on Sunday, and not only saved their coach’s job, but are still inexplicably IN THE PLAYOFF HUNT!

Like Chucky or Mike Myers or Freddy Kruger, this team just won’t die(**).

(**)Though the putrid play of the rest of the NFC East surely plays a part in keeping the Eagles alive.

We made a joke on Twitter and Facebook on Sunday, when FOX displayed a graphic explaining what it would take for the Eagles to make the second season, claiming that we would change FireTheWalrus.com to AndyIsGod.com, because the thought of this team making the playoffs was so laughable. It still is, especially when they could only go 8-8 at best… but it actually doesn’t seem entirely far-fetched.

The Eagles simply need to win their remaining three games – at home for the Jets, in Dallas on Christmas Eve, and Washington at the Linc on New Year’s Day. It’s not out of the question. The Eagles have a history of beating the Cowgirls in Dallas around Christmas time – going 4-1 in December games in Dallas over the past five seasons – and if they play well, can definitely beat the Jets and Redskins(***).

(***)Though the Eagles do have a tendency of struggling against bad Redskins teams in meaningless games.

Meanwhile, the Cowboys and Giants can’t post a record better than 1-2 over the last three weeks… certainly not out of the question for two teams known to implode in December. Dallas has games against Tampa Bay (likely a win), the Birds (a game we’d have to win) and the Giants (very meaningful for both teams). New York’s remaining schedule, much like the Eagles, includes the Redskins, the Jets and Dallas, all at their home stadium – though they’re technically the “away” team against the Jets.

So, though it’s still highly unlikely – and pains us to admit it – the Eagles seem to have a legitimate shot at winning the East at 8-8. Which would be a joke. This Eagles team doesn’t deserve to make the playoffs. No 8-8 team deserves to make the playoffs.

Does anyone really want to see the Eagles host a playoff game this season? Not really, considering this would likely be the third straight season to see the Eagles bow out of the playoffs in the first round – though, the NFC Wild Card teams may be made up of the awful Falcons, childish Lions, banged up Bears and/or the streaky Seahawks. Could the Eagles get past one of those teams? Of course… even though they’ve already lost to three of the four. But anything can happen in the playoffs. Until, of course, the Packers play.

So while we can’t root for the Eagles to lose out, we also can’t say we’d be super excited to see them in the playoffs. But at this point it really doesn’t matter…

Short of three straight embarrassing losses where players quit on the coach, The Walrus will be back. No matter how much we cry and scream and pine for his removal.

Welcome to purgatory!

This entry was posted on Tuesday, December 13th, 2011 at 10:02 am and is filed under The Day After, The Walrus. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.