The Billionaire Speaks, Says Very Little

Fire The WalrusLorne Michaels Jeffrey Lurie took The Walrus’ “flipper” out of his mouth long enough to address the media today… And what he said really wasn’t all that surprising.

Between blowing Andy and talking about how much he loves the fans(*), Lurie made some semi-bold statements, especially when it came to GM Howie Roseman and his job security:

(*)Though, we’re pretty sure we heard him say “the fan’s money.”

“I decided to streamline the whole decision-making process for the whole 2012 draft and offseason. That’s the first draft and offseason I hold completely Howie completely accountable for. The mistakes that were made in the 2011 draft have little or nothing to do with Howie’s evaluations. I think it was important for me to own up to the mistakes that were made an understand where they were coming from, and it was awfully clear.”

So, basically, Lurie blames his lifelong best friend – The Devil (Joe Banner) – for all of the team’s mistakes. Which is fitting, since Banner is no longer here and the players – particularly McCoy, Maclin and Vick – also spent the afternoon throwing their teammates under the bus(**). It’s pretty obvious that Howie had a hand in the “talent” evaluating that translated into the AWFUL 2010 and 2011 drafts and offseasons… But firing Howie is out of the question, because, you know, he just signed a five-year extension.

(**)Which was fine by us. The team completely quit and, in this town, that is 100% unacceptable.

The other somewhat interesting statement that Lurie made, had to do with the next Head Coach. According to Lurie, the next coach will report directly to the owner, while working hand-in-hand with Roseman. So… Who has the final say? Who ultimately makes the personnel decisions? Is Roseman solely responsible for evaluating talent and negotiating contracts? If there’s no true chain of command, who’s responsible when it all goes to shit?

Lurie sure has a lot of work to do. He claimed that they have an extensive targeted list of potential replacements, and they want a strong leader of men… Not a scheme. Not a big name. THAT is interesting. Does that take Chip Kelly and the Cowhers and Grudens off the list? We certainly hope so. Only time will tell.

Meanwhile, the remaining members of Andy’s staff – especially Mornhinweg, Bowles and April – are going to be allowed to finish out their contracts, evaluate their players and have their fates determined by the next head man… Which is really a shame. We’d LOVE to see them fired as well. Of all of the coaches on staff, only Duce Staley deserves to keep his job. We’ll just have to wait and see.

Lurie also mentioned that he feels the pain of the fans and desperately wants to win a Super Bowl… But that the stacks of $100 bills he sleeps on help to ease the pain.

Much more to come.

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