The Day After: Our Sunday of Discontent

October 3, 2011

Man, we knew the Eagles and Phillies like to show each other up, but yesterday reached a new level in the city’s “friendly” rivalry. The Phillies just couldn’t let the Eagles have the “choke-job” headline! They HAD to one-up the Birds and take the attention for themselves…

In all seriousness, words can’t describe the level of venomous anger that we feel after yesterday.

Where do the Eagles go from here? Ideally, they would lose the next 12 games and jump into the Andrew Luck sweepstakes(*), but you know that The Walrus would find some way of screwing that up – like winning a meaningless game in week 17 to take the team out of the running for the first overall pick. But, realistically, this team is headed for a 7-9, 8-8 or 9-7 season at best. And 9-7 even seems out of reach.

(*)Please don’t think that we actually view this as a possibility.

Sure, it’s only been four weeks and is too early to declare the Eagles season over… but, like we mentioned yesterday, they aren’t likely to overcome their current record. And they don’t exactly have the infrastructure in place to turn this thing around.

The Eagles are fundamentally flawed.

That is not news. We’ve known as much for the past couple of years. But it is as clear as day that this team is in major trouble. Again, they can’t tackle. They can’t play in the red zone on either side of the ball. They can’t protect the ball on Offense (more on this in a minute) and struggle to take it away on Defense. Their Defensive Coordinator is so painfully under-qualified(**) that they may as well have kept Ginger McDermutt(***). The only difference between the 2011 Secondary and the 2010 incarnation is that Nnamdi Asomugha makes roughly $11 million more than Dmitri Patterson did.

(**)And boy, is THAT an understatement!

 

(***)That’s former-Defensive Coordinator/Fire The Walrus-whipping boy, Sean McDermott for our newcomers.

It’s perplexing. It really is. Even after sleeping on it and collecting our thoughts, we still can’t seem to wrap our heads around the abject failure this season is turning out to be. We could/would never root for the team to lose or do poorly, but at this point, tanking the season is the only way Andy Reid loses his job. And even then, it’s not a sure thing, as Joe Banner The Devil basically insinuated that The Walrus is more or less the “coach for life.”

But everything must go. From the top down, this team needs to be broken up and sent packing. The coaching staff is hideous, the Defense is a disgrace and the Offense, even with its “star playmakers,” has few redeemable qualities.

Speaking of which… When did Andy Reid hire L.J. Smith to teach the Offense how to carry the ball? Vick, McCoy, Jackson, Maclin, Harbor… they ALL carry the ball in one hand, stretched out in front of them! Why?! Why are they incapable of tucking the ball in and protecting it?! And this started WAY before Maclin’s ridiculous fumble in the fourth quarter yesterday. It’s been going on since last year, and is absolutely infuriating. L.J. Smith was famous for carrying the ball like a loaf of bread(****) and cost the Eagles numerous fumbles. The fact that the coaching staff has allowed this to continue is just one more indictment on how frustratingly horrendous they are at their jobs. What the hell are the Eagles paying their coaches to do?!

(****)Copyright Pat Summerall.

Again, words can’t even begin to describe the level of vitriol we currently have for this team. It is mortifying to be an Eagles fan right now.  There is no pride in rooting for a team that has no heart and no desire. It’s maddening. It really is. We can’t even coherently rant…

Just look at what Cullen Jenkins, one of the very few bright spots this season and someone who played for a Super Bowl-winning team last year, had to say about the current state of the Eagles (via Dan Graziano’s NFC East blog on ESPN.com):

Regarding the mood in the locker room at halftime of the San Fran game – “I think it was a little bit too happy in here. Just because you’ve got a lead in the game doesn’t mean you’ve played a good game.”

Something we’ve been preaching since Fire The Walrus started – “The biggest thing we’re missing in here is the attitude. There’s not that fire, that mental toughness that makes you think you’re going to make it happen. And we’ve got to get that. At some point, the man in you has to come out.”

And finally, the truth – “There’s a lot of talented teams around the league that never win, and it’s because they don’t learn how to play the game as a team.”

Yep, that sums it up nicely!

Like we’ve been saying from day one on here, the Eagles lack the type of players that win in the NFL. There is no leader on the Defense, no Dawkins/Trotter/Douglas that can be relied on to step up and make a play, or get in his teammates faces and rile them up. There is no Jim Johnson to cover up Andy Reid’s flaws.

There’s just The Walrus, The Offensive Line Coach and a collection of players with no determination or heart.

This is your 2011 Philadelphia Eagles team. This is the season of our discontent.

This is the season to Fire The Walrus.

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Posted by Chase Wexler

The Day After: Vince Young’s “Dream” Becoming a Nightmare

September 26, 2011

Man, August seems like it was a lifetime ago.

Let’s quickly reminisce on that wonderful time in Eagles history, when, for two weeks, Andy Reid, Joe Banner, Howie Roseman and Jeffrey Lurie could do no wrong. They made all the right moves (and then some). They said all the right things. They appeared to be on the same page as the fans.

The Eagles grabbed the city’s attention away from the Phillies with gusto, signing every player they could during the arms race known as 2011 NFL Free Agency, and seemingly set the team up for a spectacular championship run. Players were falling over each other to come to Philly and join what Vince Young dubbed the “Dream Team.” Analysts fawned over the moves and the rest of the league took notice. Fan expectations were palpable.

But then a funny thing happened on the way to the Super Bowl…

The first three weeks of the regular season.

After three games, it is safe to say that the 2011 Eagles Defense – with all of its high-profile additions – is no better than the 2010 edition(*). The four major flaws of last season’s team remain this year: they can’t stop the run, they can’t protect the middle of the field, they can’t tackle and they can’t stop teams in the redzone. Those are some pretty glaring problems.

 (*)At least as it stands right now. With no offseason programs and a limited training camp, the unit still has a way to go until it’s a cohesive, comfortable group and could very well still come together at some point.

A lot of those traits can be attributed to the lack of actual Linebackers – the one area the team decided NOT to address in Free Agency(**). Sure they drafted Casey Matthews’ pedigree and Brian Rolle, but they didn’t really address the position that’s been their biggest need since The Walrus’ arrival. Why spend all that money and bring in all of those big name players if you were going to simply ignore the worst facet of your team? It makes no sense.

(**)A mind-boggling decision.

Speaking of Casey Matthews… can anyone who has seen this kid play explain why the Eagles drafted him, aside for his family’s name? Anyone? No, you can’t.

Fredo Matthews(***) has ZERO discernable football skills. He might look the part and his name might fool you into thinking he can play… but he can’t. He’s a liability in the run game AND the pass game. On running plays, he disappears from the instant an offensive player touches him. He has no ability to shed a block whatsoever and gets blown up by a Fullback, Lineman or Wide Receiver on every single play. And he may actually be even worse in coverage! Fredo allowed Brandon Jacobs – yes, 264 pound Brandon “Big Meat” Jacobs – to slip by him and catch a ball for an untouched 40-yard touchdown.

(***)Who will, from here on out, ONLY be known as Fredo.

But back to the Defense as a whole… How do you fix this? The D-Line is what it is: an overpowering force, predicated on pressuring the Quarterback and messing up his rhythm, while totally forgetting that the other team has the ability to run the ball. The Linebackers may as well not be on the field. It seems as if Blaine Bishop and Michael Lewis are still manning the Safety spots. And the team’s ultimate strength, the Cornerbacks, refuse to tackle… oh AND gave up two insane touchdowns to Victor Cruz (who?!).

The blame can’t all go to the Defense though. As bad as they were – and giving up 29 points to this Giants team was certainly unacceptable – our dear old whipping boy, The Walrus, deserves our true vitriol.

First things first, a confession: We defended his call to go for it on 4th and one at the Giants’ 43. Vehemently.

Look, it clearly wasn’t the smartest call – and, in fact, Reid’s actual play call was indefensible(****) – but it was gutsy and aggressive and could have ended the game if it was successful. We took a lot of heat in our section at the game for agreeing with his decision to not punt the ball and pin them back, but to his credit, there was no evidence that the Defense could stop the Giants anyhow. They were marching up and down the field at will(*****).

(****)How do you NOT have a lead blocker in front of Shady on that play?!?! Seriously, single-back formation with McCoy seven yards deep?! It made no sense. By the time he got the ball, the defenders were already in the backfield.

(*****)Tom Coughlin might be even dumber than Reid. Ahmad Bradshaw should have gotten 40 touches yesterday. The Eagles have NO answer for him.

Now, why Reid goes for it on 4th and one in the middle of the field and not at the goal line is beyond comprehension. As is not being able to punch the ball into the end zone from less than a yard out. Regardless, we couldn’t kill him for being overly aggressive, he just needs to pick one philosophy or the other and stick with it. You can’t fluctuate from conservative to aggressive over the course of a quarter and expect consistency.

Another thing about Reid’s philosophy… it’s the Achilles heel of the Philadelphia Eagles, and the real issue at hand here after three weeks of football.

The Eagles are built to play a very specific brand of football: a high-octane Offense that puts points on the board with a Defense predicated on protecting that lead. That’s it. They aren’t constructed to play smashmouth football, or even to play from behind. The Offense is supposed to make big plays and force the opposing team to play catch-up while relying heavily on the pass. That’s why the team has invested so many drafty picks and Free Agent acquisitions on Defensive Ends, Cornerbacks and Wide Receivers the past few years.

But what happens when the Birds can’t score consistently? Or score first? Or score at all? What happens when an opponent has a Running Back and Tight End that can take advantage of the gaping hole in the middle of the Defense(******)? What happens when teams are capable of playing catch-up and aren’t afraid of the scoreboard? What happens when the D-Line can’t get pressure and the Cornerbacks are getting burnt?

(******)Who’s looking forward to the Frank Gore/Vernon Davis combination next week?!

That Falcons game happens. That Giants game happens.

And here we are.

Sure, a team built around firepower, speed and pressure will win 10 or 11 games and make the playoffs, and even win a playoff game or two. We’ve seen this Eagles regime pull it off before and we’ll likely see them do it again this year. But it’s not sustainable the deeper you go into the playoffs and the better caliber of team you play.

Who knows? A team can get hot at the right time and go on a three-to-four game run in the playoffs, no matter what style they play. The Saints seemingly won Super Bowl 44 in that manner (though their Defense was much more capable than the Eagles’ current group), so there is some precedent. But it’s unlikely.

It’s safe to say that this Eagles season will end much like the last 12 Eagles seasons: with a devastating loss, blown expectations and no trophy.

Too bad the NFL doesn’t award championships in August.

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Posted by Chase Wexler

The Day After: Thank Buddy It’s Only August

August 19, 2011

Well that happened.

Last night’s (thankfully) exhibition game with the cross-state “rivals” was a minor disaster. But is The Walrus even to blame?

The players simply couldn’t execute what appeared to be a semblance of a gameplan, and they are clearly at fault for that dismal performance. Sure, Andy can be blamed for not getting his guys ready, but yesterday’s Mike-Vick-Media-Shitstorm of a distraction(*) is, in all likelihood, the explanation for why the team was flat and lifeless.

(*)And in all honesty, who really cares. The whole “Eagles weren’t Vick’s first choice” story is such a non-story it’s ridiculous.

But now this group of still-trying-to-gel players knows what it’s like to deal with a “major” distraction on a gameday. Hopefully the team can at least take something away from THAT experience, because there sure wasn’t much else to take away from last night.

Let’s look at some of the reasons for the Eagles stinking worse than the underside of The Walrus’ mustache:

Vick Distracted
Do you think that GQ article and subsequent media circus were to blame for Michael Vick’s sloppy, Donny Drama-esque performance? Overthrows, underthrows, bad timing, poor decisions. Last night was a rare step-back for Vick, who probably can’t look much worse than that.

How much of a role did Time of Possession play into Vick’s performance? The Steelers basically controlled the ball for almost 25 minutes of the first half and the Eagles Offense didn’t have any opportunity to find a rhythm.

Juan Castillo’s Inexperience
The first-year Defensive Coordinator got a nice assist on the Steelers’ first touchdown, bringing DRC and Nate Allen in on the blitz, which left Asante Samuel alone on the outside with Antonio Brown and no Safety help. Big rookie mistake, Juan. Asante is like a little kid, you can’t let him wonder off on his own. He needs to be on the Buddy System – not the one associated with our beloved Ryan, but the one that children use on field trips.

Our plea to Juan: handcuffAsanteand Coleman/Jarrett. Asomugha’s got his side covered and Nate Allen can roam free, but the other side must be doubled-up.

Speaking of Nate Allen…
Oof! Even for a second-year kid coming off of a gruesome injury, his performance last night can only be categorized as ugly. On the aforementioned failed blitz/Steelers touchdown, Allen had an opportunity to take a running shot at Roethlisraper, but instead bit badly on a pump fake and jumped in the air repeatedly, trying to knock down the pass.

With the Steelers’ inexperienced Offensive Tackles, the prevailing thought going into the game was that the Eagles would pressure the O-Line with their down linemen. Instead, Castillo chose to show some blitz packages, including ones involving multiple DBs, and the Steelers backfield did a tremendous job of picking up Defensemen.

Also having a bad game: Casey Matthews
Is it too early to start worrying about Matthews versus the run? The Steelers Offense held the ball for nearly all but six minutes of the first half, mostly thanks to Fullback David Johnson, who blew Matthews up on a routine basis. Johnson was able to move right through the line of scrimmage and attack Matthews where he stood, allowing Rashard Mendenhall and Isaac Redman to run clear up the middle.

Whether it’s his inexperience or the fact that he’s just a better coverage LB, we may be seeing why Matthews’ lineage wasn’t enough to keep him from falling to the fourth round of last April’s draft.

Thankfully though, the Eagles came away practically unscathed health-wise(***). That’s really all you can ask for from a preseason game.

(***)The Steelers certainly can’t say the same.

And although it gives us great pain to speak kindly about him, if there’s one thing Andy Reid is good at doing, it’s getting his guys back on track after a dismal outing. We fully expect The Walrus to “get into their ass” about that game. And rightfully so.

Thank Buddy it’s only August.

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Posted by Chase Wexler

The Day After: Super Tweets and Dangerous Rumors

February 7, 2011

The first thing I saw when I woke up this post-Super Bowl morning was the following text message: “Get on Twitter, there’s a rampant rumor that Andy Reid is fired!”

Thankfully, my bullshit meter was wide awake (even though I was not), because for not one second did I remotely believe that that was true. Of course, I did my due diligence and tracked down the origin of the “Andy Reid out, Jon Gruden in” rumor that almost exploded Philadelphia Twitter feeds. We can all thank @PhillySprtsWrld and @jaypot23 (an Associate Producer/Multimedia Editor for SNY.tv) for pushing out Kyle Eckel’s (yes, former Eagles Fullback Kyle Eckel) “report”(*) and causing Eagles fans nationwide to lose their collective shit.

(*)Eckel tweeted the following this morning: “If I’m your ‘source’ to this [Eagles/Gruden] rumor please get that out of your mind. I wrote the rumor from pure hear/say. Careless of me.”

I can’t tell you how happy I am that I didn’t see that text until this morning. If I saw it when it was first received (slightly after 12:30 a.m.), I would have spent the entire night furiously searching for answers to debunk the rumor, arguing with the Andy Reid-Kool-Aid drinkers and simultaneously dancing around in joyous celebration. So, I’m happy I at least got to sleep… But what a crazy way to officially begin (what figures to be) a crazy offseason.

And yes, that reminds me; today should be a day of mourning… no, not for Steelers fans… but because football season is over. What a horrible, horrible thing. Even worse? It may not be back for a long time. But we’ll cross that bridge when we get there.

For now, let’s take a look back at last night’s NFL finale, through the lens of the @FireTheWalrus Twitter feed, in real time (and thanks to everyone that followed along and joined in on the fun last night):

12:27 p.m. Happy Super Bowl Football Fans!

12:36 p.m. Every time I see the SB 37 logo (or the Bucs celebrating their win) I want to puke… That was our damn Super Bowl… #Eagles

12:37 p.m. From @loctastic: @FireTheWalrus was that the year we had Levon Kirkland on the team? You are correct sir. Gonna go slam my head on a Vet seat.

1:03 p.m. 18 game season. Team in London. Possible lockout. No celebrating. Roger Goodell is the worst thing to ever happen to the #NFL #FireTheCommish

1:03 p.m. Addendum to last tweet: No hitting.. Duh! That’s the most important one. And no blizzard games. Goodell is awful. #FireTheCommish

1:13 p.m. From @DaveCoulier: The @NFL will be showing a couple Full House clips during the #superbowl today. Really?! Not Step By Step or Mr. Belvedere?

1:26 p.m. From @AdamSchefter: Cardinals soliciting opinion of Larry Fitzgerald as to which QB he wants them to acquire/1st recommendation was Kevin Kolb.

2:11 p.m. So Deion Sanders is now a Hall of Fame Douchebag… #InsteadOfJustADouchebag

2:33 p.m. @NFLONFOX and @nflnetwork are both in hour 8 of their 13 hour pregame shows… What happened to replaying all the classic Super Bowls?

3:05 p.m. Ok, prediction time: As a #Steelers-hater I’m rooting for the #Packers… Unfortunately Pitt will get their 7th ring 31-30 #Sucks

3:07 p.m. @NFLONFOX‘s #SuperBowl Red Carpet is so stupid… Why isn’t @JoanRivers there making fun of @DeionSanders‘ suit and Michael Strahan’s gap?

3:25 p.m. Hey @NFLONFOX why does “Moose” look like he’s going hunting with Bing Crosby? #SuperBowl

3:42 p.m. From @sportsguy33: Dallas’ stadium looks like it landed here. It’s fitting, considering Jerry Jones’ face is made from space age technology

3:43 p.m. I so wish the #Eagles were in this game… Solely for the fact that we’d be terrorizing Dallas with #DallasSucks chants… #AndAChanceAtASB

3: 55 p.m. If only Conan’s Puppy Lingerie Bowl was a real thing…. http://j.mp/i1Zj4b #ButNotInAWeirdWay #SuperBowl

4:07 p.m. Construction workers were too busy working on Jerry Jones’ face to finish the temporary seating sections #SuperBowl #TrueFacts

4:15 p.m. Yikes who’s the worse @NFLONFOX personality: Bill O’Reilly, Joe Buck, Terry Bradshaw or Frank Caliendo? #DeadEven

4:24 p.m. Michael Strahan sponsored by @Gap.

4:51 p.m. Is Troy Aikman’s face made of clay? He looks like a character from “Celebrity Death Match”…

4:56 p.m. Roger Goodell and Jerry Jones to charge fans forced out of stadium $200 a piece to watch #SuperBowl at nearby bar

4:56 p.m. From @_S810: Leave it to Dallas to fuck up the SuperBowl. And somehow #Eagles fans will be blamed.

5:02 p.m. From @jasonjwilde: Airfare: $600. Hotel: $2000. Ticket: $800. Not having an actual seat at SBXLV: Priceless.

5:47 p.m. From @SheridanScribe: Aaron Rodgers emerges from tunnel without playing any imaginary instruments. I just lit my SB XXXIX seat cushion on fire!

5:49 p.m. Isn’t Frank Caliendo in “Black Face” racist? Or does nobody care cause its Frank Caliendo?

5:52 p.m. From @BrentCelek: Man I am so jealous of these guys. So are we Brent, so are we… #Eagles #WheresOurSB?

5:59 p.m. From @NFLONFOX: The inspirational reading of the Declaration of Independence by NFL greats is next! This is what happens when FOX has the SB…

6:01 p.m. From @dhm: Curt Menefee: “We are moments away from kickoff” Kickoff is at least 40 minutes away! Goodell changed the meaning of “moment” for the SB.

6:01 p.m. From @sportsguy33: Football! Football! Football! Football! Football! Football! Football! Football! Football! Football! Football! Soccer?

6:08 p.m. Is it me or does Joe Buck’s face scream “IM A HUGE DOUCHE AND YOU SHOULD THROW THAT BOTTLE THROUGH YOUR TV AT ME!”? #NeedNewTV

6:11 p.m. #Steelers #SuperBowl introduction is the exact polar opposite of what the #Eagles introduction would be….

6:12 p.m. From @skjensen: Jerry Green of the Detroit News said this is the worst run SB he’s been to. Credible since he’s been to them all. HA! #TakeThatJerry

6:23 p.m. Brett Kiesel’s beard ALMOST makes me want to root for the #Steelers #NotReallyButItIsAmazing

6: 26 p.m. From @nickkroll: I just bought a used car from Deion Sanders’ suit. Did it smell like snake oil and douchebag? #DeionSucks

6:52 p.m. These teams need to calm down a bit… Little too nerved up to start, reminds me of #Eagles-Patriots SB 39.

6:57 p.m. NOTE TO MARKETERS: Kenny G, not funny. #SuperBowl

7:03 p.m. Running and Defense huh? #TakeNotesAndy #SuperBowl

7:15 p.m. Remember when #SuperBowl commercials were funny?

7:16 p.m. Love the commercial for the NFL Draft that might not even happen… #LaborArgumentsAreDumb

7:16 p.m. Cowboys vs. Aliens looks a lot like an Indiana Jones movie… with aliens… again…

7:37 p.m. Man, if Mike McCarthy could possibly win a #SuperBowl I guess anything’s possible #TakeNotesAndy

7:39 p.m. From @philsphan19: @danieltosh will Christina Aguilera get a web redemption?

7:43 p.m. The #Packers Defensive gameplan is reminding me that we just made Juan Castillo Defensive Coordinator #IHateAndyReid #Eagles

7:44 p.m. Defense. Defense. Defense. #TakeNotesAndy #SuperBowl

7:52 p.m. From @pdomo: Two Big Ben turnovers, 14 Green Bay points. So that’s what having real Defensive Backs is like? I forgot…. #Eagles

7:54 p.m. Sick pass/catch… Why are Roethlisberger’s passes always epic looking?

8:04 p.m. This #SuperBowl Halftime Show is like being at Tavern on Broad… #OrAnyAwfulPhillyBar

8:05 p.m. Full disclosure: I thought the Black Eyed Pea with the long hair was a mute… #Superbowl

8:09 p.m. Oh @Slash…. What would 1987 you think of yourself now? #Ashamed #MakingAxlLookGood

8:09 p.m. From @gjb512: Axl rose is rolling over in a grave of heroin.

8:10 p.m. From @PhillyFansVoice: My 6yo son has not stopped dancing since the halftime show started. We’ll pray for you…

8:11 p.m. The half-dead Who were better than this atrocity…. And why is the halftime show longer than the second quarter?

8:13 p.m. Comment of the night (via Facebook): That was the most offensive #SuperBowl halftime show since Janet Jackson!

8:27 p.m. From @TheIdleRich: Sorry, Andy-haters: Packers called 16 passes, 7 runs in the first half. And they have a real Defense…

8:31 p.m. Wow Woodson is out?! #SuperBowl is far from over….

8:45 p.m. James Jones is looking like the Hank Baskett of 2011 #NoHands

8:49 p.m. These #SuperBowl commercials remind me of Jason Peters’ contract #AHUGEWasteOfMoney #Eagles

9:07 p.m. Again…. Defense and Running… How many times does it need to be drilled into our collective heads #TakeNotesAndy

9:11 p.m. From @ChefNizzy Green Bay has made a habit of letting teams hang around it just hasn’t bit them in the ass yet. The key term being “Yet”

9:16 p.m. The only thing more overrated than #SuperBowl commercials right now is the #Packers passing attack

9:17 p.m. “Keep Detroit Beautiful”? Was there a time when it was?

9:23 p.m. Really, Moe Syzlak is the only #Eagles representation in that commercial?! #NationalMediaHatesUs

9:48 p.m. Move over Bart, move over Brett… Aaron’s the new king of Wisconsin! #SuperBowl

9:51 p.m. From @Jeff_McLane: Packers’ run-to-pass ratio: 11 to 33. Somewhere Andy and Marty are smiling. And their 3 Turnovers have Juan Castillo cringing…

10:02 p.m. Wow, Roethlisberger has a chance to create his legacy here…. He’s historically clutch…

10:02 p.m. If I was a #Packers fan, I’d be more nervous than Charlie Sheen’s Publicist escorting him through Columbia.

10:08 p.m. Suck it #Steelers fans!

10:09 p.m. Wow… Mike McCarthy just gave hope to all #Eagles fans… you know, if we had a Defense…

10:10 p.m. Shit, football’s over….. 😦

10:13 p.m. Ok @NFL… Now its time to get a deal done, and make sure football is back by the week after Labor Day #Please #ForTheFans #YoureAlreadyRich

10:16 p.m. Hey remember before the season when everyone was picking the #Packers to win the #SuperBowl….

10:18 p.m. I’ve asked it every year since I was 5, and I’ll ask it again…. When is it OUR year? #Eagles

Just a remainder, “Andy Reid fired” rumors are not a joke. Someone could have seriously been injured while celebrating. Let’s be careful out there.

And again, Eagles fans… When is it OUR year?

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Posted by Chase Wexler

The Day After: Walrus Craves Prime Rib*

January 10, 2011

So yesterday happened and here we are again… Just one more season that ends on an interception. One more season that ends in disappointmet. One more season without Lombardi in South Philly.

It’s sad. Not the way they lost so much – shit they overachieved all season, can’t be too mad – but more the fact that football is over in Philadelphia and a LONG winter awaits (though thank God for the Phils). That and the fact that The Walrus and his regime are still here, breaking hearts all over the Delware Valley.

And even before we could take a breath from what just transpired, The Walrus already gave us a glimpse at what the future holds for next season (you know, besides it ending with an INT): Sean McDermott (aka Ginger McDermutt) will return as defensive coordinator.

That sound you hear is Jim Johnson spinning in his grave.

Just because he’s a disciple of the legendary JJ, doesn’t mean McDermutt can fill his shoes. In fact, the past two seasons proved that Ginger can’t amount to Ray Rhodes. His players are soft, undersized and couldn’t tackle junior college running backs, let alone NFL-caliber players. Where Jim Johnson was the master of the blitz, Ginger seems to be allergic to the thought of sending anyone at the QB besides down linemen. The middle of the field has become free-range for wide receivers and tight ends. And why shouldn’t it be? Who on this defense is going to take someone’s head off? Surely not Asante Olé Samuel.

Philadelphia is a defensive-minded town. We’re the home of Bednarik, Brookshire, Bergey, White, Simmons, Hopkins, Dawkins, Buddy Fucking Ryan. We’d much rather see Trent Cole come flying off the corner to crush Eli Manning, than Vick drop back and deliver a 50-yard bomb to DeSean. The D that’s been trotted out there the last two years has been a disgrace. No collective heart. No toughness. There are no “scare the shit out of you-Ray Lewis/Clay Matthews type” warriors on this team.

Sure, there were a rash of injuries this year and multiple 7th round picks were asked to step up, but to bring Ginger McDermutt back for another year is a travesty. Eagles fans deserve better. Trent Cole deserves better. More importantly, Jim Johnson, Buddy Ryan and Bud Carson deserve better. Reid should have canned Ginger after the Titans comeback (if not earlier) and replaced him with Dick Jauron, the seasoned NFL-lifer and current Eagles defensive backs coach.

I will scream my head off for Andy to give Rob Ryan a look, but am only wasting my breath. He may eventually make a change this offseason (anything he says to the media should be taken with a grain of salt), but it will undoubtedly come from an in-house promotion.

Guess we’re satisfied with giving up red zone touchdowns and third down conversions, as long as we don’t have to pay anyone to coach.

*In his day after press conferece The Walrus claimed he was hungry for a Super Bowl… And prime rib. He also said he craved fish and prawn, but the comment was muffled by the two large tusks protrudding from his mouth.

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Posted by Chase Wexler