It never gets old…
If only Reid’s brain was as strong as his pituitary gland!
Just Because
October 4, 2011
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The Walrus | Tagged: Andy Reid, Eagles, If Only Reid's Coaching Was As Strong As His Pituitary Gland, NFL | 
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Posted by Chase Wexler
Mikey Miss Versus The Immovable Object: The Walrus’ Fat Arrogance
October 3, 2011This morning, our old comrade Mike Missanelli went down to The Walrus’ morning after press conference mumbling/heavy-breathing/answer-dodging triathlon, and did something no “journalist” in Andy’s inner circle has the balls to do: grill him. Actually try to get a hard answer out of him. Who knew it was possible! (Hint: it’s not.)
The topic at hand was Ronnie Brown’s monumental brain fart and the fact that Brown told CSN Philly’s Derrick Gunn that the play was a designed run/pass option, yet Gunn didn’t have the wherewithal to ask a follow-up question – like “Was the play designed for you to throw the ball from the ground?” or “Were you dropped on your head as a child?” So Mikey Miss, in his always-lawyering-everyone mentality, pried Andy about the play, specifically asking why he would call a play that’s not traditionally effective in the goal line situation. And Andy, of course, pried right back.
It’s classic, stubborn, uppity Andy Reid. Not only does he avoid answering the question entirely, but attempts to demoralize Missanelli with a little bullying. He literally accuses M-squared of ignorance for not attending practice(*).
(*)Queue Iverson.
“How dare Mike Missanelli ask a pertinent question! Who does he think he is? He doesn’t show up to practice everyday… like Eskin!” That’s the only thought process Reid must use when his logic is questioned. Didn’t you know: Andy Reid invented the game of football!
Also, that rat Howard Eskin attends every practice because his mouth is surgically attached to The Walrus’ lap.
Listen to the audio over at 97.5 The Fanatic, or see the video at The 700 Level(**) (or below, maybe). It’ll frustrate you even more!(***)
(**)Link also has a very enjoyable story about Eskin putting his schmucky Burger King foot in his schmucky Burger King mouth!
(***)The whole point of being an Eagles fan is masochism, right? RIGHT?!
More tomorrow Walrus loathers!
http://www.csnphilly.com/common/thePlatform/web/swf/flvPlayer.swf
Leave a Comment » | The Walrus | Tagged: Andy Reid, Andy Reid's Fat Arrogance, Eagles, Mike Missanelli, NFL | Permalink
Posted by Chase Wexler
The Day After: Our Sunday of Discontent
October 3, 2011Man, we knew the Eagles and Phillies like to show each other up, but yesterday reached a new level in the city’s “friendly” rivalry. The Phillies just couldn’t let the Eagles have the “choke-job” headline! They HAD to one-up the Birds and take the attention for themselves…
In all seriousness, words can’t describe the level of venomous anger that we feel after yesterday.
Where do the Eagles go from here? Ideally, they would lose the next 12 games and jump into the Andrew Luck sweepstakes(*), but you know that The Walrus would find some way of screwing that up – like winning a meaningless game in week 17 to take the team out of the running for the first overall pick. But, realistically, this team is headed for a 7-9, 8-8 or 9-7 season at best. And 9-7 even seems out of reach.
(*)Please don’t think that we actually view this as a possibility.
Sure, it’s only been four weeks and is too early to declare the Eagles season over… but, like we mentioned yesterday, they aren’t likely to overcome their current record. And they don’t exactly have the infrastructure in place to turn this thing around.
The Eagles are fundamentally flawed.
That is not news. We’ve known as much for the past couple of years. But it is as clear as day that this team is in major trouble. Again, they can’t tackle. They can’t play in the red zone on either side of the ball. They can’t protect the ball on Offense (more on this in a minute) and struggle to take it away on Defense. Their Defensive Coordinator is so painfully under-qualified(**) that they may as well have kept Ginger McDermutt(***). The only difference between the 2011 Secondary and the 2010 incarnation is that Nnamdi Asomugha makes roughly $11 million more than Dmitri Patterson did.
(**)And boy, is THAT an understatement!
(***)That’s former-Defensive Coordinator/Fire The Walrus-whipping boy, Sean McDermott for our newcomers.
It’s perplexing. It really is. Even after sleeping on it and collecting our thoughts, we still can’t seem to wrap our heads around the abject failure this season is turning out to be. We could/would never root for the team to lose or do poorly, but at this point, tanking the season is the only way Andy Reid loses his job. And even then, it’s not a sure thing, as Joe Banner The Devil basically insinuated that The Walrus is more or less the “coach for life.”
But everything must go. From the top down, this team needs to be broken up and sent packing. The coaching staff is hideous, the Defense is a disgrace and the Offense, even with its “star playmakers,” has few redeemable qualities.
Speaking of which… When did Andy Reid hire L.J. Smith to teach the Offense how to carry the ball? Vick, McCoy, Jackson, Maclin, Harbor… they ALL carry the ball in one hand, stretched out in front of them! Why?! Why are they incapable of tucking the ball in and protecting it?! And this started WAY before Maclin’s ridiculous fumble in the fourth quarter yesterday. It’s been going on since last year, and is absolutely infuriating. L.J. Smith was famous for carrying the ball like a loaf of bread(****) and cost the Eagles numerous fumbles. The fact that the coaching staff has allowed this to continue is just one more indictment on how frustratingly horrendous they are at their jobs. What the hell are the Eagles paying their coaches to do?!
(****)Copyright Pat Summerall.
Again, words can’t even begin to describe the level of vitriol we currently have for this team. It is mortifying to be an Eagles fan right now. There is no pride in rooting for a team that has no heart and no desire. It’s maddening. It really is. We can’t even coherently rant…
Just look at what Cullen Jenkins, one of the very few bright spots this season and someone who played for a Super Bowl-winning team last year, had to say about the current state of the Eagles (via Dan Graziano’s NFC East blog on ESPN.com):
Regarding the mood in the locker room at halftime of the San Fran game – “I think it was a little bit too happy in here. Just because you’ve got a lead in the game doesn’t mean you’ve played a good game.”
Something we’ve been preaching since Fire The Walrus started – “The biggest thing we’re missing in here is the attitude. There’s not that fire, that mental toughness that makes you think you’re going to make it happen. And we’ve got to get that. At some point, the man in you has to come out.”
And finally, the truth – “There’s a lot of talented teams around the league that never win, and it’s because they don’t learn how to play the game as a team.”
Yep, that sums it up nicely!
Like we’ve been saying from day one on here, the Eagles lack the type of players that win in the NFL. There is no leader on the Defense, no Dawkins/Trotter/Douglas that can be relied on to step up and make a play, or get in his teammates faces and rile them up. There is no Jim Johnson to cover up Andy Reid’s flaws.
There’s just The Walrus, The Offensive Line Coach and a collection of players with no determination or heart.
This is your 2011 Philadelphia Eagles team. This is the season of our discontent.
This is the season to Fire The Walrus.
1 Comment | The Day After, The Devil, The Walrus | Tagged: Andy Reid, Eagles, NFL, Phillies give up leads better than the Eagles, The Day After | Permalink
Posted by Chase Wexler
NOT-SO BREAKING NEWS: Um, What Happened?!
October 2, 2011Ummmmm, what happened?!
Well the Eagles “Dream Team” Defense had a Mets-style(*) meltdown in the fourth quarter – for the third week in a row! – to a team with an Offense ranked 28th overall in the NFL in passing and 30th overall in the NFL in running. You did not misread that!
(*)Or Red Sox or Braves-style collapse for the fans of recent analogy history.
That’s what happened.
Remember the scene in The Big Lebowski, where Walter Sobchak (John Goodman’s most transcendent performance) famously freaks out on the kid Larry Sellers, who stole the Dude’s car, “You see what happens?! You see what happens Larry?! You see what happens when you fuck a stranger in the ass?!”(**) That’s what we’d like to do to Andy Reid right now… “You see what happens?! You see what happens Andy?! You see what happens when make your Offensive Line Coach your Defensive Coordinator?!”
(**)Please note: the link is the edited-for-TV version, which hilariously changes Walter’s: “You see what happens when you fuck a stranger in the ass?!” to “You see what happens when you fool a stranger in the Alps?!” Always loved that edit!
This is unreal! Who would have thought that, with the additions of Asomugha, Babin, Jenkins, DRC, Page, Matthews (HA!), etc., the Birds’ D would somehow be worse than last year’s pathetic group? We’ve covered Fredo extensively, but what about Jarrad Page? That dude may as well be named Blaine Bishop! Nate Allen is not what he was pre-injury. Babin and Jenkins have actually been fantastic… rushing the QB. The line can’t stop the run, the Linebackers can’t stop the run and the Secondary can’t stop the run. Oh, and NO ONE CAN TACKLE! Because, you know, tackling is not something that’s important in football…
And forget the D, does Ronnie Brown have a head injury?! Did his preseason concussion baseline test not show the massive tumor blocking whatever part of the brain makes decisions?! What the fuck was that?! Has any skill position player in the history of football ever decided to look back and throw the ball to no one in particular, even though he was less than two inches from being down and had four opposing players in his line of vision? Is Ronnie Brown color blind? Can he not tell the difference between green and red? So many questions! I hope Jon Dorenbos takes the initiative and asks him, in his long-going attempt to take Dave Spadaro’s job!
But back to the issue at hand… The philosophy that Andy Reid used to build this team – get the lead with a “high-powered” Offense early, protect the lead by pressuring the QB and taking away his Receivers – is extremely flawed, this we know. But it’s never back-fired this spectacularly. Three straight weeks, three straight leads going into the fourth quarter, three straight losses:
Week Two versus Atlanta
31 – 21 with 1:59 remaining in the third; lost the lead with 4:48 remaining in the fourth
Week Three versus NYG
16 – 14 with :59 remaining in the third; lost the lead with 8:07 remaining in the fourth
Week Four versus San Fran
23 – 3 with 9:30 remaining in the third; lost the lead with 3:00 remaining in the fourth
Can the Eagles survive 1-3? Probably not. They started 0-2 in 2003 and made it to the NFC Championship Game. They started 2-2 last year and ended up making the playoffs. But 1-3? They are in trouble. Serious trouble. But thankfully, maybe, hopefully, Walrus firing trouble.
We need to try to wrap our heads around this one. Much, much more coming tomorrow and the rest of the week. And for those who look for us on Twitter and here during home games: FYI, The Billionaire decided to block phone service in the stadium so that fans are forced to (but don’t) rent their bullshit “Fan Experience” thing that gives scores and highlights for around the league. Because God forbid fans should be allowed to communicate with the outside world watching on TV. Or, you know, bash the team share their feelings on social media.
Fuck it dude… let’s go Phillies!
Leave a Comment » | NOT-SO BREAKING NEWS, The Billionaire, The Walrus | Tagged: Andy Reid, Eagles, NFL, NOT-SO BREAKING NEWS, The Dude Does Not Abide | Permalink
Posted by Chase Wexler
Walrus Droppings: The First Three Weeks
September 27, 2011While we applaud Andy Reid’s new-found dedication to the running game – is it because Shady is the best Eagles Halfback since Wilbert Montgomery (a deadly combination of Duce Staley’s toughness/center-of-gravity with Brian Westbrook’s agility and explosiveness), or because Vick’s going to take more hits this year than Doug Benson? – let’s review the bad, the worse and the ugly from the first three weeks of the Eagles’ 2011 campaign.
Week one versus the Rams
Do you remember the scene in Major League, in the first game of the season, where Indians’ announcer Harry Doyle (Bob Uecker) says: “A lotta people say you can tell how a season’s gonna go by the first hitter of the year,” and Willie “Mays” Hayes (Wesley Snipes) hits a soft little dribbler? That scene always comes to mind on the first play of any season… Well, the first play of scrimmage for the Eagles Defense this year resulted in a 47-yard, almost untouched, Steven Jackson touchdown. Just saying…(*)
(*)Though, it should be noted that Hayes beat out the throw to first in the movie and the Eagles turned that game around. So, who knows?
Week two versus the Falcons
Man, this was such a winnable game. It was a horribly frustrating game to watch – super sloppy, lots of injuries – but it was hard to get too upset about the loss though, because: A) we expected the Birds to start 1-1; B) Vick’s injury was such a freak thing, turning into a brick wall Todd Herremans’ concrete thigh; and C) Kafka looked good.
But the bad was still BAD: If Vick doesn’t get taken out of the game by Herremans’ leg, they win that game. Plain and simple. There was no way Vick was letting them lose that game… although it would have been nice if could have Bednarik’d(**) and helped the Defense stop Tony Gonzalez and/or Michael Turner.
(**)Yup, that happened.
Speaking of Tony G… How old is he? 53 at this point? And he shredded the Eagles’ D like he was a Patriots’ Tight End. Ugh. It’s going to be a long season. Here are the Running Back/Tight End combos the Eagles still face:
San Fran: Frank Gore/Vernon Davis
Buffalo: Fred Jackson/Scott Chandler
Washington: Tim Hightower/Fred Davis
Dallas: Felix Jones/Jason Witten
Chicago: Matt Forte/Kellen Davis
Arizona: Beanie Wells/Todd Heap
NYG: Ahmad Bradshaw/Jake Ballard
New England: Woodhead and Green-Ellis/Hernandez and Gronkowski
Seattle: Marshawn Lynch/Zach Miller
Miami: Daniel Thomas/Anthony Fasano
NYJ: Green and Tomlinson/Dustin Keller
Of those eleven opponents, only Chicago, Seattle and maybe Arizona and Miami don’t pose a HUGE threat to the interior of the Defense – though Wells/Heap or Thomas/Fasano could make some noise. But the rest are daunting when you look at the blueprint Atlanta laid out for the rest of the league.
That New England game is terrifying. Not only do they have two beasts of Tight Ends who can eat up the middle of the field, but Wes Welker, who may be one of the greatest Slot Receivers of all time. That team is going to put up major numbers against the Eagles’ Defense (at least as it stands today).
And watch out for Washington. They might just be a legitimate playoff team. Save for the ending of last night’s loss to the Cowboys, their Defense is stellar and Rex Grossman – yes, THAT Rex Grossman – is playing well (68 percent completion rate, around 850 yards, five touchdowns)(***).
(***)Do you realize Rex Grossman has never taken a snap against the Eagles?! This blew our mind. We could have sworn he was playing QB the game the Bears won at the Linc in 2007 (with the bullshit fumbled snap/false start call), but according to profootballreference.com, it was the immortal Brian Griese.
Another bad terrible thing from that Falcons game: Reid not challenging Kelvin Hayden’s interception in the third quarter. The ball CLEARLY touched the ground and would have been overturned. The Walrus isn’t afraid to make some of the worst challenges in the NFL, but for some strange reason decided to keep the red hankie in his pocket on this blatant call?! Needless to say, the Falcons only needed two plays to get into the endzone, and put the Eagles in an eleven point hole.
If Reid throws the flag, the whole complexion of that game might change. The Eagles would have retained position at their own 40 yard-line, with only four points to make up. And considering the Offense was able to score touchdowns on three of their next four possessions, it’s safe to say that it’s a different game if they keep the ball there. HUGE mistake, assuming the flag didn’t get caught in The Walrus’ flippers.
Week three versus the Giants
There was one aspect of this game that we didn’t mention yesterday that is a major thorn in our side.
Everyone who knows Andy Reid knows that he’s a sensitive guy. He seems to have a thing for poetic justice and serendipitous circumstances, and that often shows on the field. So, of course, what happens when Andy trots out Steve Smith in the red zone against his former team (which ended in a messy way)? Everyone in the stadium, including Tom Coughlin and the Giants’ Secondary, knew the ball was going to Smith in the end zone… and it did, on not one, but TWO red zone trips – the first of which ended in spectacular fashion, with the ball careening off Smith’s hands and into the arms of Giants’ CB Aaron Ross.
It’s bad enough this “high-power Offense” struggles mightily to score in the red zone. But it’s even worse when Reid calls a play that might as well be broadcasted on the two HD video screens(****). Smith wasn’t even the number one option on those two plays… he was the ONLY option. Watch them again. Vick doesn’t go through progressions, he just stares down number 11. And we knew that was the call the instant Smith entered the field.
(****)And we’re not even talking about the awful telegraphed goal line sequence that occurred in the third quarter.
Way to keep them guessing, Andy!
As it stands now…
Yesterday, we discussed how the make-up of this Eagles team – built to get the lead and protect the lead, and not play any other way – and how that translates to success. Again, a team built around passing the ball and stopping the pass can win games and make the playoffs, but how far can that style take a team? Is it sustainable for a playoff run?
The football purist in us says no – though any team can get hot/lucky at the right time and win three or four games in a row in the playoffs, regardless of style (see: 2007 Giants, 2009 Saints). But realistically, games change in January. Teams get tougher. Running the ball and stopping the run matter more. And this is where good teams separate themselves from streaky teams.
As it stands right now, the Eagles would not fare well against teams like the Packers, Falcons or Saints. Detroit could be thrown into that group. Even teams like the Buccaneers and Panthers – though not necessarily playoff contenders – have the infrastructure to beat the Eagles.
The division is another story, though. The Cowboys are built much like the Eagles, and even though the Giants smacked the Birds at home (and have the recipe to beat them), they still seem like a team on a downward slope. The Redskins, surprisingly, appear to pose the biggest threat. Not a good year for the NFC BEast.
A Call to Arms Flippers
Hey Fire The Walrus Nation… Are you passionate about the Eagles and think Andy Reid needs to be fired? (Of course you are, you’re reading this, aren’t you?) Are you a writer, or capable of piecing together words into coherent thoughts and sentences(*****)? Do you have something to say about the current state of the team?
(*****)Not that we can 100 percent of the time, but still…
Well we need you! In order to give you more content and more regular postings here at Fire The Walrus, we are looking for contributors. Whether you have an idea for a running column or a one-off post, let us know! Send your ideas or queries to firethewalrus@gmail.com. (Please note, there is no payment involved, as Fire The Walrus is a not-for-profit endeavor).
Together, we can Fire The Walrus!
Leave a Comment » | The Walrus | Tagged: Andy Reid, Eagles, NFL, RB/TE Combos That Will Kill The Eagles, Walrus Droppings | Permalink
Posted by Chase Wexler
The Day After: Vince Young’s “Dream” Becoming a Nightmare
September 26, 2011Man, August seems like it was a lifetime ago.
Let’s quickly reminisce on that wonderful time in Eagles history, when, for two weeks, Andy Reid, Joe Banner, Howie Roseman and Jeffrey Lurie could do no wrong. They made all the right moves (and then some). They said all the right things. They appeared to be on the same page as the fans.
The Eagles grabbed the city’s attention away from the Phillies with gusto, signing every player they could during the arms race known as 2011 NFL Free Agency, and seemingly set the team up for a spectacular championship run. Players were falling over each other to come to Philly and join what Vince Young dubbed the “Dream Team.” Analysts fawned over the moves and the rest of the league took notice. Fan expectations were palpable.
But then a funny thing happened on the way to the Super Bowl…
The first three weeks of the regular season.
After three games, it is safe to say that the 2011 Eagles Defense – with all of its high-profile additions – is no better than the 2010 edition(*). The four major flaws of last season’s team remain this year: they can’t stop the run, they can’t protect the middle of the field, they can’t tackle and they can’t stop teams in the redzone. Those are some pretty glaring problems.
(*)At least as it stands right now. With no offseason programs and a limited training camp, the unit still has a way to go until it’s a cohesive, comfortable group and could very well still come together at some point.
A lot of those traits can be attributed to the lack of actual Linebackers – the one area the team decided NOT to address in Free Agency(**). Sure they drafted Casey Matthews’ pedigree and Brian Rolle, but they didn’t really address the position that’s been their biggest need since The Walrus’ arrival. Why spend all that money and bring in all of those big name players if you were going to simply ignore the worst facet of your team? It makes no sense.
(**)A mind-boggling decision.
Speaking of Casey Matthews… can anyone who has seen this kid play explain why the Eagles drafted him, aside for his family’s name? Anyone? No, you can’t.
Fredo Matthews(***) has ZERO discernable football skills. He might look the part and his name might fool you into thinking he can play… but he can’t. He’s a liability in the run game AND the pass game. On running plays, he disappears from the instant an offensive player touches him. He has no ability to shed a block whatsoever and gets blown up by a Fullback, Lineman or Wide Receiver on every single play. And he may actually be even worse in coverage! Fredo allowed Brandon Jacobs – yes, 264 pound Brandon “Big Meat” Jacobs – to slip by him and catch a ball for an untouched 40-yard touchdown.
(***)Who will, from here on out, ONLY be known as Fredo.
But back to the Defense as a whole… How do you fix this? The D-Line is what it is: an overpowering force, predicated on pressuring the Quarterback and messing up his rhythm, while totally forgetting that the other team has the ability to run the ball. The Linebackers may as well not be on the field. It seems as if Blaine Bishop and Michael Lewis are still manning the Safety spots. And the team’s ultimate strength, the Cornerbacks, refuse to tackle… oh AND gave up two insane touchdowns to Victor Cruz (who?!).
The blame can’t all go to the Defense though. As bad as they were – and giving up 29 points to this Giants team was certainly unacceptable – our dear old whipping boy, The Walrus, deserves our true vitriol.
First things first, a confession: We defended his call to go for it on 4th and one at the Giants’ 43. Vehemently.
Look, it clearly wasn’t the smartest call – and, in fact, Reid’s actual play call was indefensible(****) – but it was gutsy and aggressive and could have ended the game if it was successful. We took a lot of heat in our section at the game for agreeing with his decision to not punt the ball and pin them back, but to his credit, there was no evidence that the Defense could stop the Giants anyhow. They were marching up and down the field at will(*****).
(****)How do you NOT have a lead blocker in front of Shady on that play?!?! Seriously, single-back formation with McCoy seven yards deep?! It made no sense. By the time he got the ball, the defenders were already in the backfield.
(*****)Tom Coughlin might be even dumber than Reid. Ahmad Bradshaw should have gotten 40 touches yesterday. The Eagles have NO answer for him.
Now, why Reid goes for it on 4th and one in the middle of the field and not at the goal line is beyond comprehension. As is not being able to punch the ball into the end zone from less than a yard out. Regardless, we couldn’t kill him for being overly aggressive, he just needs to pick one philosophy or the other and stick with it. You can’t fluctuate from conservative to aggressive over the course of a quarter and expect consistency.
Another thing about Reid’s philosophy… it’s the Achilles heel of the Philadelphia Eagles, and the real issue at hand here after three weeks of football.
The Eagles are built to play a very specific brand of football: a high-octane Offense that puts points on the board with a Defense predicated on protecting that lead. That’s it. They aren’t constructed to play smashmouth football, or even to play from behind. The Offense is supposed to make big plays and force the opposing team to play catch-up while relying heavily on the pass. That’s why the team has invested so many drafty picks and Free Agent acquisitions on Defensive Ends, Cornerbacks and Wide Receivers the past few years.
But what happens when the Birds can’t score consistently? Or score first? Or score at all? What happens when an opponent has a Running Back and Tight End that can take advantage of the gaping hole in the middle of the Defense(******)? What happens when teams are capable of playing catch-up and aren’t afraid of the scoreboard? What happens when the D-Line can’t get pressure and the Cornerbacks are getting burnt?
(******)Who’s looking forward to the Frank Gore/Vernon Davis combination next week?!
That Falcons game happens. That Giants game happens.
And here we are.
Sure, a team built around firepower, speed and pressure will win 10 or 11 games and make the playoffs, and even win a playoff game or two. We’ve seen this Eagles regime pull it off before and we’ll likely see them do it again this year. But it’s not sustainable the deeper you go into the playoffs and the better caliber of team you play.
Who knows? A team can get hot at the right time and go on a three-to-four game run in the playoffs, no matter what style they play. The Saints seemingly won Super Bowl 44 in that manner (though their Defense was much more capable than the Eagles’ current group), so there is some precedent. But it’s unlikely.
It’s safe to say that this Eagles season will end much like the last 12 Eagles seasons: with a devastating loss, blown expectations and no trophy.
Too bad the NFL doesn’t award championships in August.
Leave a Comment » | The Day After, The Walrus | Tagged: Andy Reid, Eagles, NFL, The Day After, Vince Youngs Dream Is All Wet | Permalink
Posted by Chase Wexler
The Day After: Thank Buddy It’s Only August
August 19, 2011Well that happened.
Last night’s (thankfully) exhibition game with the cross-state “rivals” was a minor disaster. But is The Walrus even to blame?
The players simply couldn’t execute what appeared to be a semblance of a gameplan, and they are clearly at fault for that dismal performance. Sure, Andy can be blamed for not getting his guys ready, but yesterday’s Mike-Vick-Media-Shitstorm of a distraction(*) is, in all likelihood, the explanation for why the team was flat and lifeless.
(*)And in all honesty, who really cares. The whole “Eagles weren’t Vick’s first choice” story is such a non-story it’s ridiculous.
But now this group of still-trying-to-gel players knows what it’s like to deal with a “major” distraction on a gameday. Hopefully the team can at least take something away from THAT experience, because there sure wasn’t much else to take away from last night.
Let’s look at some of the reasons for the Eagles stinking worse than the underside of The Walrus’ mustache:
Vick Distracted
Do you think that GQ article and subsequent media circus were to blame for Michael Vick’s sloppy, Donny Drama-esque performance? Overthrows, underthrows, bad timing, poor decisions. Last night was a rare step-back for Vick, who probably can’t look much worse than that.
How much of a role did Time of Possession play into Vick’s performance? The Steelers basically controlled the ball for almost 25 minutes of the first half and the Eagles Offense didn’t have any opportunity to find a rhythm.
Juan Castillo’s Inexperience
The first-year Defensive Coordinator got a nice assist on the Steelers’ first touchdown, bringing DRC and Nate Allen in on the blitz, which left Asante Samuel alone on the outside with Antonio Brown and no Safety help. Big rookie mistake, Juan. Asante is like a little kid, you can’t let him wonder off on his own. He needs to be on the Buddy System – not the one associated with our beloved Ryan, but the one that children use on field trips.
Our plea to Juan: handcuffAsanteand Coleman/Jarrett. Asomugha’s got his side covered and Nate Allen can roam free, but the other side must be doubled-up.
Speaking of Nate Allen…
Oof! Even for a second-year kid coming off of a gruesome injury, his performance last night can only be categorized as ugly. On the aforementioned failed blitz/Steelers touchdown, Allen had an opportunity to take a running shot at Roethlisraper, but instead bit badly on a pump fake and jumped in the air repeatedly, trying to knock down the pass.
With the Steelers’ inexperienced Offensive Tackles, the prevailing thought going into the game was that the Eagles would pressure the O-Line with their down linemen. Instead, Castillo chose to show some blitz packages, including ones involving multiple DBs, and the Steelers backfield did a tremendous job of picking up Defensemen.
Also having a bad game: Casey Matthews
Is it too early to start worrying about Matthews versus the run? The Steelers Offense held the ball for nearly all but six minutes of the first half, mostly thanks to Fullback David Johnson, who blew Matthews up on a routine basis. Johnson was able to move right through the line of scrimmage and attack Matthews where he stood, allowing Rashard Mendenhall and Isaac Redman to run clear up the middle.
Whether it’s his inexperience or the fact that he’s just a better coverage LB, we may be seeing why Matthews’ lineage wasn’t enough to keep him from falling to the fourth round of last April’s draft.
Thankfully though, the Eagles came away practically unscathed health-wise(***). That’s really all you can ask for from a preseason game.
(***)The Steelers certainly can’t say the same.
And although it gives us great pain to speak kindly about him, if there’s one thing Andy Reid is good at doing, it’s getting his guys back on track after a dismal outing. We fully expect The Walrus to “get into their ass” about that game. And rightfully so.
Thank Buddy it’s only August.
Leave a Comment » | The Day After, The Walrus | Tagged: Andy Reid, Eagles, NFL, Preseason Foreshadowing?, The Day After | Permalink
Posted by Chase Wexler
Walrus Droppings: Dog Days of Lehigh
August 10, 2011Talk of the Town
The Billionaire’s Yearly Ego-Stroke
Jeffrey Lurie graced the world with his presence at Training Camp last week to give his yearly boldface lie state of the team address to the media. Good news: His words didn’t spark a million message board posts/sports talk-caller rants! Bad news: We tend to agree with most of what he says.
Vick’s Donovan Impression
Michael Vick sat down with Mike Missanelli and 9.75 The Fanatic to discuss, among other things, his contract status and Rob Ryan’s comments(*). Is it just us, or has Michael Vick perfected Donovan McNabb’s “appear congenial and humorous while actually toeing the company line and saying nothing” interview response?
(*)Quick note on Rob Ryan: Who cares what he said… He’s a Ryan. He’s got a big mouth. That’s what they do (and that’s why we love them).
Speaking of Number Five…
Donny Drama Does What Donny Drama Does Best:
Be Dramatic
Dear Donovan McNabb:
At one point in your career, we empathized with you. We were sympathetic when you were attacked by Rush Limbaugh, and (mostly) stood by your side during the whole T.O. debacle. We even blamed your receivers when Ricky Manning, Jr. raped you during the 2003 NFC Championship Game. But now that you’re gone, and the midnight green-colored glasses no longer apply, we realize, you’re the common drama denominator.
You are now twice-removed from the Eagles and yet, you can’t seem to take them out of your mouth. This is what you said last week to CBSSports.com’s Clark Judge (via profootballtalk.com):
“I was there for 11 years, and the biggest thing we brought in was T.O. Now they’re getting the so-called ‘Dream Team.’ It’s amazing, but I look back on my career and what they’re doing now . . . that’s great; that’s excellent. But you’re seeing another side. You’re seeing Andy [Reid] taking that chance. It’s not just taking that chance on one guy. They’re taking a chance on a bunch of guys. And they’re spending money. That’s amazing.”
Sure, who can blame you for being irked that the Eagles never fully went “all in” during your tenure here – even though the 2002 and 2004 teams were more than good enough to win it all(**) – but you’re a Minnesota Viking now and should only be concerned with the Minnesota Vikings.
(**)But, let’s not forget… both of those playoff runs ended with a McNabb interception.
For all of your efforts to be “the company guy” and the consummate professional who always says the right things, you sure are the king of making not-so-subtle, yet veiled comments about your former team. And ever since you left for Washington, you’ve done nothing but show your true colors: jealous, envious and melodramatic.
It wasn’t that we never loved you Donovan, you just needed something to cry about. If you feel the need to carry around that big ugly chip on shoulder from draft day – more than 12 years ago now! – and think that the Eagles did you wrong for all those years, well, so be it. You give off the aura of a lover scorned… but you sound more like an ungrateful, spiteful spinster.
Have fun in Minnesota, Donny Drama! We can’t wait until Chris Ponder rightfully takes your job.
With loathing,
Eagles Fans
The Desean Debate
Grantland’s Bill Barnwell – whose football analysis we’ve really come to enjoy – breaks down Desean Jackson’s efficiency catching the ball (spoiler alert: it’s subpar). Barnwell makes a pretty good statistical case for why the Eagles shouldn’t invest huge dollars in Jackson – primarily focusing on his catch rate and his percentage of dropped balls – but Desean’s importance to the Eagles offense goes far beyond numbers.
Without Jackson on the field, the Bird’s offense isn’t nearly as dynamic. Desean’s ability to stretch the field – even with the occasional drop – is what makes the Eagles offense go. Even as a decoy, if Desean is on the field, the defense must account for him and a receiving corps of (a hopefully healthy) Maclin, Avant and Cooper doesn’t exactly strike fear into the hearts of Defensive Coordinators.
In all of our years of watching football, very few Wide Receivers have stood out for getting behind defenders the way that Desean Jackson does. His speed and double move are second-to-none and his game is more Iverson than Rice. He might not be technically sound and he might be undersized, but he is a warrior and will do whatever it takes to get into the end zone.
And THAT’S why he deserves to be paid.
Rookies Galore!
It appears that the Birds are VERY high on some of their youngest talent. Reuben Frank had glowing words for first-round pick, Danny Watkins (“All-rookie team in 2011. Pro Bowl by 2013.”), and third-round Cornerback, Cutis Marsh (“Kind of like a young Bobby Taylor. Tall, rangy, athletic and very smart.”). Frank goes on to praise Jaiquwan Jarrett, who could be a big hitter, but is hurt by the lack of mini-camp/training camp time. Center Jason Kelce is another rook to keep an eye on, as he is pushing Jamaal Jackson for the starting spot.
Frank on new Eagles Kicker, Alex Henery: “Huge leg. Can kick the thing a mile. They don’t always seem to go straight. Keep a close eye on the rookie kicker Thursday night. Andy Reid would love to give him a nice challenging 47-yarder. See where he’s at. The kid scares me a bit.”
And finally, Casey Matthews appears to possess that legendary “Matthews-family Football Gene” and, as of now, is not Fredo Matthews! Currently locked-in as the starting Middle Linebacker – at least for now – Matthews could finally be that missing piece in the middle the Eagles have sorely lacked since Jeremiah Trotter left (the first time).
Ray Diddy Whets the Lombardi Appetite
As if you’re not already jacked up enough for the season to start(***), Ray Diddy gets the juices flowing by comparing the 2011 Eagles with the 1994 San Francisco 49ers.
(***)And if you’re not, why the hell are you reading this?
It’s super early to start putting this team up there with past Super Bowl winners… but boy, are the similarities striking – right down to signing a game-changing Cornerback in free agency and the rookie kicker. Bizarre, and hope-inspiring, stuff.
Oh and one more thing before we get out of here… THERE’S AN EAGLES FOOTBALL GAME TOMORROW!!! Sure it’s preseason, but its football!
Rejoice Fire The Walrus Nation!
Leave a Comment » | The Walrus | Tagged: Andy Reid, Eagles, NFL, Preseason Stuff, Walrus Droppings | Permalink
Posted by Chase Wexler
The End of an Era… For Better or Worse
August 2, 2011The 2011 NFL Season will mark the end of an era for the Eagles… we just don’t know which one yet.
Either the long, excruciating history of Super Bowl-less Eagles teams finally comes to an end or the Andy Reid-regime crumbles under the weight of expectations(*). That’s it. No ifs, no ands, no buts. Joe Banner has made this perfectly – and encouragingly – clear.
(*)And Andy Reid himself.
The free agent spending spree we just witnessed was The Devil, The Billionaire and Howie’s way of publicly letting Reid know that they will not be bringing him back next season as a lame duck – lame walrus? – coach. Win the Super Bowl, get an extension. Fall short of that goal, you’re gone(**). The reckoning has finally come!
(**)Though don’t put it past those cheap lying “experts of the smokescreen” to give The Walrus another one-year extension if the team made it to, but lost, the NFC Championship Game. And my God have mercy on our souls…
With the Front Office stacking the team with as much talent as its ever had – even more so than the 2004 juggernaut Eagles(***) – the time to win is NOW. Banner even came out and said this nationally on yesterday’s PFT Live (see the link above), profootballtalk.com’s daily show. We’ve heard Banner make bold statements before – you may recall his claim of having “The best roster in the NFL!” in 2009 – but this one rings true.
(***)As good as that team was – and it was without a doubt the best Eagles team since the Reggie/Randall days – the NFL, particularly the NFC and NFC East, was so weak that season that the team’s ability was inflated.
Kevin Kolb is gone. There is no young, up-and-coming Quarterback to buy Reid a few more years – save for the potential of Vince Young, but even he’s on a one-year deal. Vick gives the Eagles the best chance to win now and the best chance to move on if it doesn’t work out. His career trajectory will either peak this season, or it unfortunately peaked last year, but there is no more room for growth. This is it. It’s now Reid’s job to have Vick get the franchise over the hump and win a Super Bowl, or it’s going to be somebody else’s job next year.
This is the ultimate test: a roster with gobs of talent and tons of depth; a premiere Quarterback at the height of his powers; a ridiculously-skilled Offense; a potentially tantalizing Defense. Barring major injuries, this is the strongest, deepest and most potent collection of players Reid has had the pleasure to coach(****). If he can’t make it work, he is the problem. There will be no more scapegoats – no matter how inexperienced the “new” Defensive Coordinator may be. Hell, if Ginger McDermutt had Asomugha, DRC, Babin and Jenkins last season, we’d most likely be cheering him in Lehigh today… maybe even dye our hair red in homage.
(****)Ray Didinger would like to throw water on that statement.
We’re not saying a Super Bowl is a sure thing… far from it. But this IS the last chance Andy Reid will have at winning one with the Eagles. He’s been handed one of the most talented rosters in the NFL, he just has to put them in the right situations.
It all falls on Reid’s wide fluffy shoulders. Banner, Lurie and Howie have made it perfectly clear, not just saying that the team is “all in,” but by actually going out and proving it with their high-profile acquisitions. The window to win is now. Expectations can’t get higher. It’s win or go home for The Walrus.
Either way, it’s the beginning of the end of an era. Super Bowl or Bust. Lombardi or Walrus.
Leave a Comment » | The Billionaire, The Devil, The Walrus | Permalink
Posted by Chase Wexler
R-E-S-P-E-C-T: Find Out What It Means to Teams
August 1, 2011Have you come back down to Earth yet? Us either!
What the Eagles did over the past weekend was nothing short of amazing. Rodger-Cromartie. Babin. Young. Jenkins. And of course, the “pièce de résistance,” Asomugha. Oh, and don’t forget, they threw in WR Johnnie Lee Higgins and TE Donald Lee for good measure too(*).
(*)Though I don’t foresee Lee catching on with this team, save for an injury… Brent Celek and Clay Harbor are the two TEs, and if the Eagles decide to carry a third, Lee will have to battle Cornelius Ingram for the spot.
The Eagles “won” free agency in the eyes of many, particularly football analysts such as ESPN’s John Clayton and Grantland’s Bill Barnwell. And many, especially the Eagles own, recently-acquired players, are calling the team a “Dream Team” or “The Miami Heat of the NFL.”
Quick tangent: Normally, we would scoff at such talk, and beg players like Young and Babin to keep their mouths quiet and prove it on the field… But hell, we’ve been screaming for shit-talking football players since the days of Hugh Douglas! This is precisely what this Eagles team has been sorely lacking for so many years now: Balls. Big, trash-talking, bravado-spewing balls. Seth Joyner-sized balls.
This team used to have a tradition of mean and dirty, brutally physical, DOGS… the Bednarik’s, the Bergey’s, the Joyner’s, the Runyan’s. It’s finally a return to that line of thinking. Vick(**) and Desean were the start. Now Babin, Young and Jenkins fit the mold. The Eagles were in desperate need of over-confident swagger and boisterous smacktalkers. Now they have them.
(**)Seriously, no pun intended.
Even The Devil, Joe Banner himself, got in on the fun: When Howie was asked if they still had flexibility to sign more players, Banner interjected with a “Hell yeah!” Are we watching a Twilight Zone episode?!
So as we try to comprehend just what exactly is going on over there at the NovaCare Complex – Phillies jealousy? Collective heat stroke? Pod people? Commonsense added to the water supply? – let’s look at the real reason why so many NFL veterans are calling their agents : the mystique of Michael Vick.
Two years ago today, the majority of Eagles fans were shocked and flabbergasted when Vick landed on the Eagles. One year ago today, the majority of Eagles fans were questioning why Vick still held a valuable roster spot(***). Today, the majority of Eagles fans would be talking about Hunter Pence and Hunter Pence alone, as opposed to the Eagles’ embarrassment of riches known as their free agent haul, if Vick wasn’t in Midnight Green.
(***)Yes, that was us driving the bandwagon…
Why is that, you ask? Because guys simply want to have the opportunity to play with someone as special as Michael Vick. Do yourself a favor and read Chris Ryan’s piece on Grantland.com today, Flocking to the Eagles, and former-Inquirer/current-ESPNer Ashley Fox’s piece from yesterday. Usually you read stories like that about NBA superstars or the Patriots… but an Eagle?!
If the Eagles attacked free agency during the Donny Drama years with the same sense of urgency that they’ve used during this one, maybe they would already own a Lombardi. But maybe Vick holds the key that Five never could: Respect from his peers.
Leave a Comment » | The Devil, The League | Permalink
Posted by Chase Wexler
Fire The Walrus 