Mikey Miss Versus The Immovable Object: The Walrus’ Fat Arrogance

October 3, 2011

This morning, our old comrade Mike Missanelli went down to The Walrus’ morning after press conference mumbling/heavy-breathing/answer-dodging triathlon, and did something no “journalist” in Andy’s inner circle has the balls to do: grill him. Actually try to get a hard answer out of him. Who knew it was possible! (Hint: it’s not.)

The topic at hand was Ronnie Brown’s monumental brain fart and the fact that Brown told CSN Philly’s Derrick Gunn that the play was a designed run/pass option, yet Gunn didn’t have the wherewithal to ask a follow-up question – like “Was the play designed for you to throw the ball from the ground?” or “Were you dropped on your head as a child?” So Mikey Miss, in his always-lawyering-everyone mentality, pried Andy about the play, specifically asking why he would call a play that’s not traditionally effective in the goal line situation. And Andy, of course, pried right back.

It’s classic, stubborn, uppity Andy Reid. Not only does he avoid answering the question entirely, but attempts to demoralize Missanelli with a little bullying. He literally accuses M-squared of ignorance for not attending practice(*).

(*)Queue Iverson.

“How dare Mike Missanelli ask a pertinent question! Who does he think he is? He doesn’t show up to practice everyday… like Eskin!” That’s the only thought process Reid must use when his logic is questioned. Didn’t you know: Andy Reid invented the game of football!

Also, that rat Howard Eskin attends every practice because his mouth is surgically attached to The Walrus’ lap.

Listen to the audio over at 97.5 The Fanatic, or see the video at The 700 Level(**) (or below, maybe). It’ll frustrate you even more!(***)

(**)Link also has a very enjoyable story about Eskin putting his schmucky Burger King foot in his schmucky Burger King mouth!

(***)The whole point of being an Eagles fan is masochism, right? RIGHT?!

More tomorrow Walrus loathers!


Whisker Wednesday

February 9, 2011

Welcome to another Whisker Wednesday, Fire The Walrus Nation! Football season is officially over – and the pending labor battle is just getting underway (man I can’t wait to watch Billionaires argue with Billionaires!) – but it isn’t snowing in the Delaware Valley… so at least we got that.

  • As you’ve probably heard, the Eagles filled out the rest of their coaching staff over the past two days, with few surprises. Former Eagles players Mike Caldwell, Mike Zordich, Duce Staley and Doug Peterson were all promoted (Linebackers, Safeties, Special Teams Quality Control and Quarterbacks, respectively). Longtime Wide Receivers Coach Dave Culley had Senior Offensive Assistant added to his title and James Urban, who has been with the team in various roles since 2004, was elevated to Assistant Offensive Coordinator. The Eagles even threw in a little nepotism, hiring Special Teams Coordinator Bobby April’s son, Bobby April, Jr., as Defensive Quality Control Coach.

    The one interesting hire was Johnnie Lynn, as Cornerbacks Coach. Lynn has previously worked as Defensive Coordinator of the Giants, and Secondary Coach of the Ravens, Buccaneers and 49ers – leading some pretty decent units. Aside from his experience, Lynn – like Mudd and Washburn – brings a much-needed outside perspective, and isn’t a typical “Andy Reid guy.

    Adding Assistant Coaches and Quality Coaches is not huge news, and none of us can really sit here and say that these moves were good or bad. We’ll just have to wait and see. Thankfully Zordich was the type of hard-hitting, tough-as-nails defender that the current Defense lacks, and maybe can transfer some of that intensity, and Caldwell was a Linebacker who could actually cover Tight Ends (imagine that!). We all remember Pederson – the sacrificial lamb of the 1999 season, prior to McNabb taking the Offensive reigns. He helped mentor McNabb (unimpressive) and, for a short time, Aaron Rogers (impressive), so at least he’s got that going for him.

    The only thing that jumps out is that Andy Reid stocked his staff with “his guys.” Nothing surprising, why wouldn’t he?  There is a prevailing line of thinking in the NFL ether (courtesy of ESPN’s Sal Paolantonio and NFL Network’s Mike Lombardi) that Reid is putting “his guys” in position to gain as much experience as possible before the whole thing is blown after this year and they’re forced to find new jobs. We can only hope.

  • Speaking of Sal Pal… He appeared on his weekly, Tuesday at 5:15 spot with Mike Missanelli on 97.5 The Fanatic (listen here) and noted something very interesting that Ron Rivera – former Reid assistant and new Panthers’s Head Coach/Sean McDermutt’s new boss – was quoted as saying. According to Rivera (via Paolantonio), Reid said the following regarding McDermutt’s exit from the Eagles: “Ron, Sean’s in a tough, tough position, he’s following the late Jim Johnson. We got to make people understand that it was not as much because Sean did a bad job, or anything, it was just going be as much as always going to be tough and unfair for him. We’ve got to create a ‘situation’.” That’s an actual quote. So essentially, Reid and the Eagles created a story (Reid saying McDermutt was staying, waiting a week, then firing him) giving the appearance that the firing came from over Andy’s head. It wasn’t. Instead it was calculated and manipulated by the team.
  • One more note from the Paolantonio interview… The notion that the Eagles could simply fire Reid after next season and transition to a Juan Castillo – same basic philosophy and schemes, plus an extension of the plan already in place, just with a new captain of the ship (ala Jim Caldwell taking over for Dungy in Indianapolis). That would certainly garner a similar reaction to what happened last week, when Castillo was moved to Coordinator, but probably with even more vitriol. And, it wouldn’t be unprecedented.

    We think we have it bad, Eagles fans? After 16 long-suffering years of Jeff Fisher, the Tennessee Titans promoted their long-time Offensive Line Coach, Mike Munchak, to Head Coach!?! Take that Juan Castillo! The Titans just one-upped the Birds in terms of majorly leapfrogging a guy. At least we’re not Titans fans.

  • As the rumor mill turns… The whole Andy Reid-Jon Gruden “thing” is still out in the air and remains a hot topic. Phil Sheridan, of the Philadelphia Inquirer, wrote a great piece yesterday delving into what the rumors reveal about the Eagles current regime.

Make sure you stop back later today to take the Whisker Wednesday Poll!

Whisker Wednesday Clip of the Day

February 2, 2011

Green Bay Packer’s Linebackers Coach Winston Moss, a name that has not yet been crossed off the Eagles Defensive Coordinator cadidate list, appeared with Harry Mayes and Dan Schwartzman on the 97.5 The Fanatic midday show… And sold himself to the Philadelphia phaithful.

Listen to the interview here. You think Eagles fans would embrace this guys bravado or what? He’s certainly speaking to the Fire The Walrus Nation’s sensibility!

Whisker Wednesday

February 2, 2011

Welcome to yet another wet, wild Whisker Wednesday! A lot has happened so far this week in Eagles Nation – including the completely unsurprising news that Michael Vick will receive the team’s Franchise Tag and Kevin Kolb will be shopped (more on this later today). Also, the Eagles made an actual Public Relations move, choosing to not raise ticket prices for next season (though if they made it further in the playoffs that probably would have been a different story). For now, let’s get right into it…

The David Akers Drama
A lot has been made this week about Andy Reid’s handling of David Akers in the aftermath of the playoff loss to the Packers, particularly since it was revealed that Akers’ six-year-old daughter was undergoing surgery to remove a potentially cancerous cyst. Our thoughts and prayers go out to the Akers family.

For what it’s worth, Andy Reid shouldn’t be criticized for “throwing Akers under the bus.”

Yes, he made specific comments about the kicking game in both the press conference following the game and his day-after conference – offhandedly making a comment about only losing by five while leaving six points on the field. But if anyone should be blamed for the way the kicker performed on Sunday, January 9, it should be the Head Coach.

Forget about Akers’ missed 41-yarder in the first quarter – or his track-record of inconsistency kicking in the Linc – Reid should never have put his kicking team on the field for the play in question in the first place. The Eagles had a fourth-and-one at Green Bay’s 16 yard-line, down eleven points with about ten minutes to play. They were averaging 3.9 yards per carry and were actually succeeding in short-yardage situations… But still chose to kick. Even if Akers makes the field goal, the Eagles still trail by eight and are playing to tie, not to win. Guess who gets the blame for that?

Reid put Akers in a position to fail. Sure, a case could be made that Akers should have held himself out of the game, but what professional athlete (aside from Jay Cutler) does that? If Andy Reid had a Championship-mentality, he would have pounded the ball up the middle on that fourth-and-1 play and stuck it to the Packers. Instead, he sent a reeling David Akers onto the field and rest is history.

Should Akers be criticized for his performance? Not necessarily. He was dealing with deep personal feelings, and even if you’ve experienced something similar, you have no idea how those thoughts affected him. Some players thrive on tragedy (see: Favre, Brett and Reed, Ed). Others don’t. Should Reid have been more sensitive? Maybe. But we don’t know what really happened behind-closed-doors leading up to the game.

Again, if Andy had gone for the kill, rather than playing for the tie, maybe this whole point would be moot.

And the Defensive Coaching Clusterfuck Continues…
Joe Woods. Jon Hoke. At this point the Eagles Defensive Coordinator position comes down to Plans F and G.

Not a good start to drastically rebuilding a defense that gave up a franchise-record 31 touchdowns through the air. Though I’m still holding out hope for Darren Perry – the only Defensive Backs Coach the Eagles haven’t interviewed yet and a guy I singled out weeks ago (along with the Jets’ Mark Carrier) – this is becoming ridiculous.

One of the strengths of Andy Reid over the course of the past 13 years has been his ability to go into an offseason with a plan in place and execute that plan. Whether it has been big Free Agent targets, coaching moves, draft strategy – the Front Office typically gets their business settled early and easily (though the outcomes haven’t had the same consistency).  But this offseason so far has been a complete mess…

Firing and hiring coaches with no rhyme or reason. Interviewing any defensive coaching name they can get their hands on. They’re scrambling and it’s noticeably uncharacteristic. Clearly the plan was to simply install Dick Jauron at Coordinator, making for a seamless transition in a very uncertain offseason, but that blew up in their face. Now the team is stuck with whatever coach is willing to take the job.

ESPN’s Sal Paolantonio made a very interesting point yesterday on Mike Missanelli’s show on 97.5 The Fanatic… There is uncertainty in the league and with the Eagles. Coaches with good jobs, working for good organizations, won’t be so quick to uproot their families and move, partially due to the CBA issues, but mostly because they don’t want to take a job with a Head Coach that might not be there after this next season.

Now Sal Pal has mentioned his belief that this will be Andy’s last year in Philadelphia, barring a Super Bowl(*). But this goes deeper. Would coaches really not try to advance their careers solely because Andy Reid’s future may be in doubt? I find that hard to believe. If you’re a Defensive Coordinator in the NFL and you lose your job because of the Head Coach, chances are you’re getting another gig on the same level. Hell, even Sean McDermutt is still a Defensive Coordinator(**). And it’s not like they’d be taking a bad job. The Eagles (as much as it pains me to say it) are one of the top organizations in the league, the Offense has the ability to be fantastic, and the Defense can only improve, especially on a talent-level. That should be a sought-after job.

(*)And Fire The Walrus Nation rejoices!

(**)By the way… Somebody asked me: What happens if McDermutt succeeds in Denver? Well, it would prove that the personnel on this Eagles team is definitely below-average; that Jim Johnson really does produce top-notch coaching talent; and that Andy Reid is at fault, once and for all.

Speaking of Mike Missanelli
I want to give a special thank you to Mikey Miss for plugging our little space on the interwebs yesterday and discussing Monday’s piece on Andy Reid’s regular season record splits (hopefully audio of it is uploaded soon at 975TheFanatic.com).

Yesterday was a record-setting day here at FireTheWalrus.com and we welcome all of the new members of Fire The Walrus Nation! You won’t be disappointed… at least until the 2011 season ends with an interception and no Super Bowl.

Another wet Whisker Wednesday is just getting started. Check back later today for more icy fun!

Whisker Wednesday

January 19, 2011

  • Mike Missanelli hosted an Eagles Wrap-up Roundtable yesterday on 97.5 The Fanatic(*), featuring former-Eagles/current-Philadelphia media personality Vai Sikahema, ESPN Senior NFL Reporter (and South Philly native) Sal Paolantonio and Tim McManus, Eagles beat reporter for The Fanatic and phillysportsdaily.com (which you should definitely check out if you haven’t already).(*)And will broadcast live with Mike Vick today at 3:30 p.m.

    The general consensus of the discussion leaned towards two conclusions: With the offseason in limbo, the Eagles will likely stick with the 4-3 defense, meaning Dick Jauron is the easy answer to the question “Who’s the next DC?”; and, it’s time for Andy Reid to go.

    To further that point, Sal Pal – who is well-known to be a lifelong Eagles fan and has been favorable of Reid in the past – openly ripped the Eagles management, even saying (to my delight) that The Billionaire Lurie and The Devil Banner are more concerned with counting their money than winning championships! Hmmmm… where have we heard that before?
    Missanelli also mentioned a comment made by Mark Schlereth, ESPN NFL analyst and three-time Super Bowl Champion. Per Schlereth, Andy Reid’s style of football will never win a championship. A member of the back-to-back champion-Denver Broncos, he points to controlling the game by effectively running the ball and playing a brand of smashmouth defense. Shit, maybe the Birds should just hire Schlereth.

  • As the Coordinator Position Turns… Yes, the Eagles Defensive Coordinator position is still wide open – which I view as a good thing, because there are some great defensive minds who’s team are still currently playing – but some new names were thrown into the mix yesterday. NY Jets’ DC Mike Pettine, Jr.’s name was being floated around, but just as I had suspected when researching potential hires, he is not looking to leave Rex Ryan’s side anytime soon. It was also pointed out yesterday (by I believe Sal Pal) that Pettine has never called plays – an integral role for the Eagles Defensive Coordinator, as Reid’s defensive knowledge is on par with his dieting habits… nonexistent.Mike Trgovac, Green Bay’s Defensive Line Coach, is another name that gained some momentum in the last 24-hours. You may remember Trgovac as the Eagles’ D-Line Coach under Ray Rhodes. He also manned the Carolina Panthers’ Defense from 2003 to 2008 and was rather successful.

    Sources also claim that the Eagles’ are in talks to bring in long-tenured Tennessee Titans Defensive Line Coach, Jim Washburn… as D-Line Coach. You might think that’s a move that puts the cart before the horse – securing a Line Coach before a DC – but Washburn is one of the best in the business and has passed up numerous chances to be a coordinator. For him, it would be a lateral move. For us, he’d be the best defensive assistant since Ron Rivera was on the staff.

  • John (Gonzo) Gonzalez, Philadelphia Inquirer Columnist, wrote a brilliantly scathing article about The Walrus, his propensity for lying and his brand of comedy. Lying to the media is something that has never bothered me about Reid – he’s a football coach, that’s what they do – particularly about the status of players and coaches. Reid simply won’t throw people under the bus, and that’s admirable.Not to keep plugging Sal Paolantonio, but during that Fanatic Roundtable, he suggested that the move to fire McDermutt came from the very top, over Andy’s head. It would make sense, considering The Billionaire and The Devil needed a fall guy, and they clearly aren’t going to answer our prayers by firing The Walrus anytime soon.
  • You know how the Eagles are currently lacking in playmaking Linebackers? Yeah, that’s nothing new. Reuben Frank, Eagles Beat Writer for CSN Philly and Burlington Courier Times, dredges up the depressing history of the Linebacker position under the Andy Reid-regime.God, I miss the days of Willie T…

    Look for a new Whisker Wednesday Poll coming later today!

Whisker Wednesday

January 12, 2011

Who Wants to Fire The Walrus? Mikey Miss Does!
If you listen to Mike Missanelli on 97.5 FM The Fanatic – and I most certainly do on a daily basis(*) – then you probably know that he similarly wants to see Reid get the boot.

(*)We’ll definitely be getting to my pure, unadulterated hatred for that fraudulent Burger King-mascot assclown Howard Eskin, and his “buddy-buddy” relationship with The Walrus soon enough. My theory in short: He’s trying to get close enough to skin The Walrus so he can make another coat.

Mikey Miss also writes for phillymag.com’s The Philly Post, which you should definitely check out. Here’s a sampling of Missanelli post today, regarding our favorite water mammal, entitled “Andy Reid is Done”:

Well, I’m sick of the whole thing. For me, Andy Reid’s shelf life has expired. It happens to everyone in sports eventually. It happened with Donovan McNabb. We were just ready to turn the page. Things got stale. And the same thing has happened with Reid. I’m tired of the inferior game plans that succumb to the opponents who aren’t supposed to come into your home field and win a playoff game. I’m tired of the mistakes in picking personnel and drafting. I’m tired of the lack of sideline management and game day adjustments. I’m tired of the food jokes. I want out.

Well done Mikey Miss. This is why you’re number one!

Ron Rivera, We Wish You Were Here
Former Eagles Linebackers coach and longtime Buddy Ryan-Jim Johnson protégé, Ron Rivera is the new head coach of the Carolina Panthers. Shit. I’ve always loved this guy, who was simply too good of a coach to be an assistant, forcing him to leave JJ’s staff to be a coordinator and eventual-head coach. Honestly, it shouldn’t have taken this long… specifically because the Eagles should have shitcanned The Walrus in favor of him years ago. This quote from his introduction press conference alone should make The Billionaire and The Devil regret not bringing him back here (via profootballtalk.com):

Rivera says the team will keep a 4-3 defense. One of Rivera’s attractive qualities is that he’s coached a 4-3 and a 3-4 defense. He says the talent in Carolina is built for a 4-3 and he will have an “attacking” style like some of his mentors Buddy Ryan and Jim Johnson.

Packers Fan’s Car Destroyed, Blames Eagles Fans
See this story?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, Philadelphia fans are crazy and tough and destructive and blah, blah, blah… Come on dude, cut the bullshit. You stayed in the stadium late to celebrate Favre’s Shadow’s first playoff win, were so overjoyed when you got in the car that you weren’t paying attention and inadvertently hit a certain Walrus-like figure dressed in all black when exiting the parking lot. It’s ok, you aren’t the first, and until they rid us of this dangerously huge, tusked, small-brained Walrus, you won’t be the last.

Eagles Sign Sinorice Moss?!
Really, Walrus? I don’t think I’d take Santana Moss at this point, let alone his undersized (and that’s an understatement) kid brother who never lived up to the second round pick the Giants wasted on him. What, Jeremy Bloom wasn’t available?

Half-a-Week Later and McDermutt is Still Here?
Even though The Walrus announced that Ginger would be back as D-Coordinator (and Eagles-nation simultaneously shuddered in fear) I’m still holding out hope that that was one of Andy’s blatant lies. But I wouldn’t be remotely surprised if he was telling the truth. The wait continues…