Trotter On The Walrus: “Andy Reid Got Out-Coached In A Lot Of Games”

January 4, 2013

A few months ago, we pointed out former-Eagles All-Pro Middle Linebacker/fan favorite Jeremiah Trotter’s take down of king bro-douche, Jason Babin. Now, Trotter turns his attention to the man who once let him leave town as a 24-year old free agent coming off of a Pro Bowl season… directly contributing to the Eagles blowing their best chance at a Super Bowl(*).

(*)Fuck yourselves, Levon Kirkland and Barry Gardner… And subsequently, Joe Jurevicius.

Via Philly.com’s “Pattison Ave.” blog, Trotter was on 97.5 The Fanatic with Mike Missanelli and ESPN’s Sal Paolantonio, and made note of something every Eagles fan was aware of for the better part of the last 14 years – Andy Reid is not a good gameday coach or play-caller. According to the Ax Man, Andy’s play-calling decisions affected the psyche of the Defensive players and coaches… Something that was clearly evident watching as a fan, but is absolutely soul-crushing to hear from a player that starred on a Defense that deserved to be champions.

To come from one of his actual players, and one who absolutely epitomized the heart and soul of Jim Johnson’s Defense, really proves just how pedestrian Reid is as a coach. And it’s further evidence of who was really responsible for the early 00′s-Eagles success.

Once again, take it away Trot:

“If it came down to both teams were even, talent-wise, I think the opponent’s team would win if it came down to coaching. Andy Reid got out-coached in a lot of games, man, a lot of big games. Time outs, running the football, you know.”

“As a defense, we understood we passed the ball too much. You know, there’s times we’re sitting over there like, ‘Man, listen. Just get us a couple of first downs so we can get a break.’ And I’m sure it frustrated Jim Johnson also.”

And when asked how he would rate Andy as a Head Coach:

“On a scale of one to 10, 10 being great, I give [Reid] a seven and a half or eight as a coach.”

Which is about where we would rank him too… And we never played for him. Careful what you wish for, Chiefs fans!

Again, thank you Jeremiah Trotter! You say what everyone else is thinking and we forever love you for it. That, and possessing the ability to tackle people.

Man, we miss that.

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NOT-SO BREAKING NEWS: The Walrus Migrates To Landlocked Kansas City, BBQ Restaurants Rejoice

January 4, 2013

While Fire The Walrus will continue to exist as an Eagles “watchdog” site(*), we feel like we must comment on the news today, as our not-so-dearly departed Walrus has surfaced in Kansas City, where he’ll now preside over the perennially putrid Chiefs.

(*)And currently, we’re watching this clusterfuck of a Head Coaching search by the team’s “brain” trust. More on that to come shortly.

And we rejoice!

While we fear that Andy will eventually go on to win a Super Bowl somewhere else(**), we’re pretty sure this move sets those fears back at least a few years. The Chiefs are bad. Particularly on Offense.

(**)Which is clearly our destiny as Philly sports fans…

The Walrus takes over a team that doesn’t really have a Quarterback – though we assume his QB-coaching abilities could possibly revive Matt Cassel’s career… Not so much for Brady Quinn though. The Chiefs have absolutely NO receivers beyond Dwayne Bowe, who is expected to leave this offseason, but they do feature a really good Running Back, who will now waste away with only 10 carries a game… Sucks to be you, Jamaal Charles!

Meanwhile, we saw a comment from a Chiefs fan that made us absolutely die with laughter: “Now Andy, you have to add a POWER running game with a 240 lb. Running Back to your arsenal. You do that and you’ll finally bring the Chiefs a championship!” Good luck with that Chief fans… Welcome to our world for the past 14 years!

And while Andy inherits a half-decent Defense with a nice young core – Tamba Hali, Derrick Johnson, Brandon Flowers – he still needs to hire a Defensive Coordinator. By our count, he’s 1-for-4 in that task over his career.

Coincidentally, Andy does now possesses the #1 overall pick in this April’s draft. Assuming he doesn’t trade it away in order to pick twice in the second round(***), Chiefs fans will most definitely get to enjoy Matt Barkley or Geno Smith for the next few seasons… until they inevitably flame out. So, good luck with that!

(***)The Andy Reid Special!

Don’t get us wrong, we fully expect Andy to transform KC – the second-losingest franchise in football over the last seven years – into a legitimate team and possibly a playoff team sooner rather than later. They do, after all, preside in the worst division in the NFL, and with very little Offensive talent, Reid has the ability to completely build the team the way he wants.

But until he finds a real Defensive counterpart and a franchise Quarterback, he’s a 9-7 coach, at best. We know that all too well.

So, have fun Chiefs fans… You’re likely thrilled to have your first coach with an actual pedigree since Dick Vermeil. But much like Vermeil, and Marty Schottenheimer before him, a name coach doesn’t guarantee playoff success.

Hey… At least he’s not Romeo Crennel!

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The Billionaire Speaks, Says Very Little

December 31, 2012

Fire The WalrusLorne Michaels Jeffrey Lurie took The Walrus’ “flipper” out of his mouth long enough to address the media today… And what he said really wasn’t all that surprising.

Between blowing Andy and talking about how much he loves the fans(*), Lurie made some semi-bold statements, especially when it came to GM Howie Roseman and his job security:

(*)Though, we’re pretty sure we heard him say “the fan’s money.”

“I decided to streamline the whole decision-making process for the whole 2012 draft and offseason. That’s the first draft and offseason I hold completely Howie completely accountable for. The mistakes that were made in the 2011 draft have little or nothing to do with Howie’s evaluations. I think it was important for me to own up to the mistakes that were made an understand where they were coming from, and it was awfully clear.”

So, basically, Lurie blames his lifelong best friend – The Devil (Joe Banner) – for all of the team’s mistakes. Which is fitting, since Banner is no longer here and the players – particularly McCoy, Maclin and Vick – also spent the afternoon throwing their teammates under the bus(**). It’s pretty obvious that Howie had a hand in the “talent” evaluating that translated into the AWFUL 2010 and 2011 drafts and offseasons… But firing Howie is out of the question, because, you know, he just signed a five-year extension.

(**)Which was fine by us. The team completely quit and, in this town, that is 100% unacceptable.

The other somewhat interesting statement that Lurie made, had to do with the next Head Coach. According to Lurie, the next coach will report directly to the owner, while working hand-in-hand with Roseman. So… Who has the final say? Who ultimately makes the personnel decisions? Is Roseman solely responsible for evaluating talent and negotiating contracts? If there’s no true chain of command, who’s responsible when it all goes to shit?

Lurie sure has a lot of work to do. He claimed that they have an extensive targeted list of potential replacements, and they want a strong leader of men… Not a scheme. Not a big name. THAT is interesting. Does that take Chip Kelly and the Cowhers and Grudens off the list? We certainly hope so. Only time will tell.

Meanwhile, the remaining members of Andy’s staff – especially Mornhinweg, Bowles and April – are going to be allowed to finish out their contracts, evaluate their players and have their fates determined by the next head man… Which is really a shame. We’d LOVE to see them fired as well. Of all of the coaches on staff, only Duce Staley deserves to keep his job. We’ll just have to wait and see.

Lurie also mentioned that he feels the pain of the fans and desperately wants to win a Super Bowl… But that the stacks of $100 bills he sleeps on help to ease the pain.

Much more to come.

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It’s Official: Fired The Walrus

December 31, 2012

Via PhiladelphiaEagles.com: The official announcement, including Lurie’s remarks bullshit!

Fired The Walrus

Image courtesy of Greg Lynn.

 

 

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The Day After: It’s A Beautiful Morning

December 31, 2012

Last night was not a dream, Fire The Walrus Nation…

Andy Reid is no longer Head Coach of our Philadelphia Eagles! The Walrus is dead! Our dreams have come true!

Before we move forward, let’s take a moment to look back. We’ve said it before and we’ll repeat it here once again… We weren’t always anti-Andy. He is, in fact, the best Eagles coach of our lifetime. No matter how much we love Buddy Ryan, Andy was by far the most successful coach we’ve ever had.

In 14 years, Andy won 10 playoff games, went to 5 NFC Championship Games and 1 Super Bowl. In the 13 years before Reid – Buddy’s 5, Kotite’s 4 and Ray Rhodes’ 4 years – the Eagles won all of 2 playoff games. Under Andy, the Eagles dominated the NFC for years – albeit, a very weak NFC – won the NFC East 7 times and made the playoffs in 9 of his 14 seasons.

Andy was hugely successful, but also hugely disappointing. The lack of a Lombardi trophy will forever define his tenure with the Eagles, and though it doesn’t change what he did for the franchise, it is a glaring hole on his resume. However, he DID change the culture of this franchise for the better, and for that, we are grateful.

But Andy’s Eagles career should have ended in 2009. The team has simply been running in place for the past three years, as Reid’s effectiveness as a leader ran out (coincidentally) around the same time Jim Johnson left the team with an unfortunately fatal disease(*). Andy kept buying himself time with new QBs – Kolb, then Vick – but his propensity to sign big name free agents (Nnamdi Toastmugha) with even bigger egos (Jason Babin) and pair them with big name assistant coaches (Washburn, Mudd, April) blew up in his face.

(*)And we’ll forever think of those Eagles teams as Johnson’s… Not Andy/McNabb’s.

The successful years of Andy’s reign saw him build the team through the Offensive and Defensive Lines and through the draft. When he moved away from that strategy and completely lost his way with the Defense, it was all over. Reid totally lost his shit, signed Jim Washburn and infamously moved Juan Castillo to Defensive Coordinator. That was his “I’m Keith Hernandez” moment… The moment when his ego superseded all else. That was his ultimate demise.

Hell, even The Devil (Joe Banner) knew it, and tried to push him out last year. But Jeffrey Lurie is a schmuck and his personal relationship with The Walrus blinded him from the truth.

Which brings us to today… The press conference we’ve been waiting YEARS for! It’s absolutely insane that it has taken this long, but it’s finally here and finally real. The Walrus is fired!

Now what? We’ll see…

Does anyone really trust Lurie and Roseman to make the right decision? We sure don’t. Though we do fully expect Lurie to make a brash move and get his franchise back into national headlines… you know, for things other than losing. So expect a big name to come in, rather than a no-name like Reid was in 1999. And that’s unfortunate, because this team needs to be totally rebuilt from the top down. There is no quick fix, and we certainly don’t think a Jon Gruden, Chip Kelly or other “big” name is the way to go.

All we know is this… No more “Time’s yours” or monotone,throat-clearing press conferences. No more lack of accountability and self-blaming “I need to do a better job.” No more wasted timeouts or blown challenges. No more 60 pass attempt games or the same gameplan week after week after week. No more lack of a run game and belief that Linebackers are unnecessary. No more abject stubbornness or “I’m smarter than everyone else” attitude(**). Unfortunately, no more fat jokes… But, most importantly of all, NO MORE WALRUS!

(**)Unless of course Chip Kelly is the guy…

Sure, the Eagles may not be good for a while, but it’s not like they were good in the last few years. What matters is that we will finally see something different. For better or worse, that’s all we want. Something new. Something not Andy.

For all the good he did for our favorite team – and there WAS a lot good – he wore out his welcome LONG ago. This has been a long time coming… And right now, we couldn’t be happier. This was the ONLY way this abysmal, embarrassing season could have ended. At least Lurie was smart enough to recognize that.

Welcome to a new era.

The Walrus. Fired.

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This Is How We Feel Tonight…

December 30, 2012

Between this miserable, unthinkable season finally being over and the miserable, unthinkable existence of The Walrus finally being put out of its our misery:

Oh Balki!

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NOT-SO BREAKING NEWS: Sources Say Our Dream Has Come True!

December 30, 2012

PHINALLY!CSNPhilly.com’s Reuben Frank has published the story we’ve been waiting YEARS to read!

Sources: Reid is fired as Eagles head coach.

We’re still waiting for official word from the Eagles, which will likely come during a noon press conference tomorrow! But it’s now being widely reported…

Stay tuned!

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