Whisker Wednesday Poll

March 2, 2011

Whisker Wednesday continues with the Whisker Wednesday Poll: Who is your “Jerk-Off of the Week” (Non-Walrus Edition)?

The Philadelphia Eagles Front Office brass had a banner week (no pun intended) – from winning awards they have no business winning, to getting snubbed by the real winners of said award, to comparing the Eagles mediocre playoff success to the Steelers actual playoff success – the team’s executives certainly have a knack for getting under Eagles fans’ skin.

On top of that, their longest tenured player, David Akers, is unhappy and refuses to sign his Transition Tag (boo-hoo!), even though he’s a Kicker who can no longer make field goals past 30-yards.

Not a very happy-go-lucky time in Eagles Nation… Which begs the question: Who has been the biggest jerk-off the past week?

Personally, I have to go with The Killer of Kelly Green. We don’t hear from her often, but when we do, we all wish she would just shut the hell up.

Nobody cares that she was offended for not being thanked for simply writing a check. In fact, WE’RE offended that she would even say such a thing… considering the Lurie’s Oscar is a slap in the face to Eagles fans everywhere.

Rosenfield is a close second though… Charlie Sheen keeps us all “winning!”

Have a better candidate for “Jerk-Off of the Week?” Leave it in the comments.

Coming Soon… Oscar Snub Sundays!

Whisker Wednesday… With a Poll? (Twofer!)

February 23, 2011

It’s a late and short Whisker Wednesday, but it’s a Whisker Wednesday indeed!

CBS Sports’ Senior Writer Clark Judge wrote a President’s Day piece on Monday(*) – happy belated! – honoring our nation’s leaders by forging a Mount Rushmore out of the top four NFL Head Coaches of the past decade. His Fab Four: Bill Belichick, Tony Dungy, Mike Holmgren and, our beloved coach, The Walrus.

(*)Thanks @SymbiotDesign.

I totally disagree with one of his choices, but (surprise)… it’s Mike Holmgren. If you’ve been keeping up, of course I recognize and respect Andy as the greatest Eagles coach and one of the top coaches in the league over the last ten years. That’s nothing new. So I agree that Reid belongs on Judge’s Decade-long monument.

But Holmgren?! What has he done in the last ten years besides keep Seattle competitive in an awful Division and spawn more Head Coaches? The Browns may be turning the corner, but I think Judge is as stuck in the 90’s as Portland.

Wouldn’t Bill Cowher – or more appropriately a Cowher/Mike Tomlin hybrid(**) – be a better representation of the past decade. Cowher has also seen many former assistants become Head Coaches.

(**)Tomlin with Cowher’s chin? Black Cowher?

Holmgren belongs with the likes of Bill Parcells, Marv Levy and Jimmie Johnson (ugh)… in the 90’s.

As for Reid’s inclusion, Judge had this to say:

After the Eagles lost to Green Bay in the playoffs, I got a call from a Philadelphia-area radio station, with talk-show hosts there wondering if it was time to get rid of Andy Reid. I suggested it was time they get a clue. Andy Reid is one of the most successful and least appreciated coaches in the NFL. Philadelphia doesn’t know how good it has it with the guy, but it might if it remembered that in the two years before he landed the Eagles were 9-22-1.

Yes, the two years before Reid were pathetic – thanks Richie K for the great Drafts and Ray Rhodes for your uninspiring coaching style! – but nobody forgets them. He continues with Reid’s impressive resume and lauds him for his courage to make bold decisions with personnel moves. Oh and he calls Eagles fans spoiled.

Judge takes the typical “National Media” stance on Reid – the one that makes passive-aggressive Eagles fans apathetic towards the team’s repeated pratfalls – telling Eagles fans that we’re spoiled and should worship the ground The Walrus sunbathes on. Again, we can all agree that Andy Reid is a good coach. He has been the best (and the worst) thing to happen to this organization since the early-90’s. And he could, for all we know, win a Super Bowl someday.

What the National-perspective doesn’t see is the game of history-repeated we follow day-in and day-out year round. Every year it’s the same thing with Reid. The clock management, the challenges, the play-calling, the Linebackers, the running game, the one missing piece that could put them over the top… Coming so close but never close enough. It never ends.

Pundits see the wins, the playoff appearances and Championship games. We see the past… and no rings.

The Walrus has one more season to prove that he belongs to be chiseled out of stone.

But wait, there’s more…

Take the Whisker Wednesday Poll: Who belongs on the past decade’s NFL Head Coach Mount Rushmore?

Have a better combination? Leave ’em in the comments.

Coming soon… Sunbathing Sundays!

Whisker Wednesday Poll

February 16, 2011

Whisker Wednesday continues with the Whisker Wednesday Poll: Which player designated with the Franchise Tag would be worth two first round picks to the Eagles?

Franchise Tag – and to a much lesser extent, Transition Tag – season is officially in full effect(*) and a number of game-changing players that could fill a gaping hole in the Eagles roster received the tag, as expected. It’s rare that a Franchise Tagged player is traded, but let’s get all hypothetical for a second…

(*)Though if the Tags even mean anything is yet to be determined, barring a collective bargaining agreement.

What if the Eagles could realistically trade for any one of these guys for the “league-suggested, franchise player price” of two first round draft picks? Regardless of would they do it (they wouldn’t) or should they do it (they should), if this hypothetical situation were real, and you had your choice, which major need do you address?

The obvious choice is Ngata, as a Defensive playmaker who can anchor a Defensive Line in the 3-4 or 4-3, stop the run, torture the Quarterback… easily worth two first rounders. Harris and Woodley are beasts, though not on the level of Ngata, and as much as the Eagles need Linebackers – and they seriously need Linebackers – neither of those guys could make the immediate impact that Ngata could make.

Hali is a nice player and the type of Defensive End/Linebacker hybrid that makes Andy Reid’s third chin sweat… but is the former-Penn State star even worth the Franchise Tag he was bestowed with?

Mankins on the other hand, is someone who would certainly make me think twice about Ngata. Offensive Line might not be sexy, but it’s an enormous need for this team, and Mankins is one of the best in the business. He completely changes the face of the Line, and maybe even masks some of the problems caused by inefficient bookends in Peters and Justice.

In the end, it really doesn’t matter. Even given the opportunity, the Eagles would probably balk – and maybe rightfully so – given how much first round picks are valued and the fact that the team needs to fill more than one hole. But making a “Godfather” offer for Ngata (or Mankins) – coupled with at least one impact player from the draft – could put this team over the top.

We can only dream…

Someone not on the list that should be? Leave it in the comments.

Coming Soon… Flubber Fridays!

Whisker Wednesday Poll

February 9, 2011

Whisker Wednesday continues with the Whisker Wednesday Poll: If The Bogus “Andy Reid-Out, Jon Gruden-In” Rumor Was True, What Would Your Reaction Have Been?

The rumor from Sunday night/Monday morning that just won’t die – thanks Kyle Eckel and social media hysteria! – has been the hottest topic in Philadelphia all week. Obviously, there was no truth to it whatsoever, but man, wasn’t it fun to dream, just for a little…

(*)If you selected “Anger and Frustration Because You Simply Don’t Understand Why They Would Fire Reid,” please click here, print this out, and staple it to your forehead.

Would Gruden really be able to take this team to the next level? As it stands now, probably not. With the current state of the Defense, I doubt he’d fare any better than Reid. For one thing, Gruden is an Offensive guru – you know, just like Andy – and wouldn’t improve the Defense in any way. But maybe he could bring a spark that the team so desperately needs. He does in fact have the proven track record. Gruden took an over-the-hill Oakland team to the brink of a Super Bowl berth and helped Tampa Bay finally knock the door down, with what was essentially Tony Dungy’s team. Why couldn’t he do the same here?

In all honesty – besides the fact that I was giddy at hearing the report, even knowing it was false – if somebody offered me the ability to make the Reid-Gruden switch happen, I wouldn’t hesitate for a second. Maybe Gruden is no better than Reid, but he’s surely different and would definitely infuse the organization with some new blood and, most certainly, a sense of urgency and intensity. That’s why the news was so intriguing. That’s why the Eagles need a new coach.

For the future, Eagles fans, can we please all agree to be careful when spreading Andy Reid rumors around… You never know how someone might react to the potential news.

Think you would have a totally different reaction to an actual Reid-Gruden swap? Leave it in the comments.

Coming Soon… Moron Mondays!


Whisker Wednesday Poll

February 2, 2011

Whisker Wednesday continues with the Whisker Wednesday Poll: Which Super Bowl XLV Prop Bet Would You Bet Your Life On?




There are literally hundreds on insane prop bets for the Super Bowl each year and 2011’s crop is even more crazy than ever. There are now even cross-sport bets (like Blake Griffin’s total number of points and rebounds vs. the Packer’s total points scored).

If you want to hear some funny, degenerate gamblers discuss inane prop bets further, check out ESPN’s Bill Simmons’ latest B.S. Report with Cousin Sal. For our purposes, I think I’d bet my life on the Over of Brett Favre comments. You gotta love the “God” shoutout by whoever wins the MVP award. And if history has taught us anything, I’m laying the mortgage on Donny Mac loses his Texas-style BBQ all over Steve Young’s nice new tie.

Got another Super Bowl XLV Prop Bet you like? Leave them in the comments.

Coming soon… Mopey Monday (no more football)!

Whisker Wednesday Poll

January 26, 2011

Winter Weather Warning Whisker Wednesday (Yeah alliteration!) continues with the Whisker Wednesday Poll: At this point, who should be hired to coach the Eagles’ Defense?

At this point? I would take Trgovac or Perry (but, as I said earlier today, I highly doubt Trgovac leaves Capers’ side), but that’s where the fascination with the “legendary” Mike Holmgren has to end. Seriously, Walrus, enough with the former Holmgren castoffs… The guy only won one Super Bowl, how is he such a beloved deity? Go outside the “Brotherhood of the Mustachioed Coaches” and cherry pick someone from Dick LeBeau or Rex Ryan’s stable.

Speaking of the Ryan family… I would take Buddy Ryan (at age 76), Buddy Ryan’s dog or Buddy Ryan’s third-cousin to remake the sorry Defense the Eagles have put out on the field the past two seasons. Watching the Championship games on Sunday was so frustrating. If the Eagles had any semblance of a real Defense in 2010 – and Vick doesn’t throw that awful underthrow to Cooper – who knows what this team could have done.

As for “Weekend at Bernies”-ing Jim Johnson… I don’t recommend it.

Got another suggestion for a Defensive Coordinator candidate? Leave them in the comments.

Coming soon… Flipper Friday!

Whisker Wednesday Poll

January 19, 2011

Whisker Wednesday continues with the Whisker Wednesday Poll:

Which Super Bowl-winning “Free Agent” Head Coach Would You Want To Replace The Walrus?

Personally… I’d go with an up-and-coming coordinator or someone from the Ryan family.

But, if forced to go with one of these guys… I’m a Chucky fan. Gruden is a great gameday coach, makes adjustments, his players love him and he always had his teams prepared (I refuse to talk about one of those games, in particular). He’s also a great judge of talent – although, if you’ve listened to him these past two years on Monday Night Football, you’d know that every player in the league is a great guy with a great motor.

Cowher would definitely be intriguing, but let’s not forget how long it took him to get over the hump – and he had some great teams over the years. Whose to say he’d be able to recreate the ideal situation he had in Pittsburgh, with a phenomenal supporting cast of coaches around him (Dick LeBeau, Mike Tomlin, Ken Whisenhunt to name a few) and a constant influx of talented players (essepcially on defense)? Dungy falls into a similar category, as he also struggled to break through and win a championship, but then fell into Peyton Manning’s lap and may as well have coached from home.

As for Billick, well let’s just say that the only difference between him and The Walrus is a Super Bowl win… Which can be credited to the Ravens’ defense and only to the Ravens’ defense, which Billick didn’t have a hand in. He was considered to be an “Offensive Genius” – his Super Bowl-winning offense ranked 16th overall – meanwhile, the number one defense (maybe of all-time) was led by four currentHead Coaches: Marvin Lewis, Bengals (Coordinator); Mike Smith, Falcons (Defensive Assistant Coach); Jack Del Rio, Jaguars (Linebackers Coach); and Rex Ryan, Jets (Defensive Line Coach). Brian Billick is the Drunk Uncle to Andy Reid’s Walrus.

Parcells’ Man Boobs scare the shit out of me.

Got a Head Coach you’d rather see than any of these? Leave them in the comments.

Coming soon… Time’s Yours Tuesday!

Whisker Wednesday Poll

January 12, 2011

Whisker Wednesday continues with the Whisker Wednesday Poll: What’s the strangest thing ever found in The Walrus’ Mustache?

A good group of choices, but there certainly is a long list of objects that have vanished in those thick walrus-y upper lip follicles.

Got anything weirder than these? Leave them in the comments.

Coming soon… Two Tusk Tuesday!