NOT-SO BREAKING NEWS: The Eagles Win a Game?!

October 16, 2011

 

We wish we had a .GIF of the Walrus flapping his flippers, but this goofy, ham sandwich-craving grin will have to suffice.

Even though they won and the season’s not officially over (thank Buddy!), your usual mix of vitriol and fat jokes will commence tomorrow.


Apparently Mike Vick Didn’t Follow The Eagles While He Was In Leavenworth

October 12, 2011

Michael Vick hates FireTheWalrus.com.

Has he actually visited this very space? Not likely(*). But Vick is clearly hearing the Andy Reid-tinted vitriol coming from the fans and media, alike. And he doesn’t think it’s fair.

(*)Though we have tweeted him a few times… so you never know.

According to Vick – via CSN Philly’s Reuben Frank (and every other Eagles beat writer on Twitter):

“I know it’s not Coach’s fault. It’s not Coach’s fault. Coach can’t go out and hold onto the ball. Coach can’t throw the ball down the field. Can’t go out there and do it, he can only give us what we need.”

Vick isn’t wrong. Walrus Coach can’t go out there and do it(**). But that’s where Vick is missing the point.

(**)Mostly because his heart would likely explode from the physical activity…

The fans, for the most part, know what Vick couldn’t possibly know. It’s not so much the play on the field, per se, but the fact that there is little difference between the play on the field this season from any other year in the Reid-led Eagles. At least since 2004. While Vick was serving his time in Leavenworth Federal Penitentiary, the Eagles couldn’t tackle, couldn’t stop the run, couldn’t stop Tight Ends, couldn’t run in short yardage situations, couldn’t understand clock management, etc.

Clearly, they don’t get Eagles games in Leavenworth, Kansas.

It doesn’t have to do with the fact that they’re 1-4 – though that only exasperates the situation and garners the media attention that’s FINALLY making this a story – but the fact that they’re 1-4 because of the same old Andy Reid rhetoric. Nothing has changed in 13 years. And that’d be fine if he’s won a championship. But he hasn’t.

That’s what Michael Vick needs to learn. No matter how poorly the team plays on the field – and individual players DO get called out by fans (see: Page, Jarrad) – Andy Reid is the lightening rod for the fans’ wrath. And that’s one BIG lightening rod.

How about we try this, Michael: Let’s get a new Head Coach, and if you guys still fail to score in the Red Zone, fail to get a play off with :08 seconds left in the half and fail to win games when you lead by 20 in the third quarter… well, then we’ll put the blame fully on you. How’s that sound?

Honestly though, if you don’t want to hear the fans complain there’s a simple solution to that: Win!

Oh, and Michael… It’s still a little early for you to start getting under people’s skin. We haven’t forgotten why you ended up in Leavenworth in the first place. Nor will we.

 


NOT-SO BREAKING NEWS: The Bowtie Retires, No One Notices

October 12, 2011

Dhani Jones, the bowtie-wearing, air banjo-playing, third wheel of the Eagles big 2004 offseason splash (where they more famously snagged Kearse and TO) has officially retired from football.

Who cares? No one(*).

(*)Except maybe the bowtie industry.

Why bring it up? Mostly because we just like making fun of Jones – who we once saw out at the Kimmel Center, along with Jill Scott from his balcony seat. Bowtie Man will forever be known in Philadelphia as one of The Walrus’ infamously awful Linebacker acquisitions… Though he would still somehow be an upgrade over Fredo Matthews.

In honor of Dhani’s retirement, let’s all get arrested for dancing in the street!


Like NFL RBs, Sal Pal Breaks Through The Wide-9

October 11, 2011

The Wide-9.

We’ve heard much about it since The Walrus hired Jim Washburn to coach the Defensive Line – before acquiring a Defensive Coordinator, mind you – and we know now that the Eagles aren’t capable of utilizing it.

Sure, Jason Babin and Cullen Jenkins have combined for 12 sacks (ranked second and fourth in the NFL, respectively), but the rest of the D-Line (and team for that matter) has a total of 4 sacks. Three of those belong to the injured Trent Cole. Meanwhile, the Wide-9 has been a sieve, with Running Backs rolling through it like The Walrus through a catered lunch buffet. Even QBs have been able to gain significant yardage up the middle, as we saw this past week with pseudo-QB Brad Smith up the middle for a 5-yard TD – Yay, Red Zone D! – and Ryan Fitzpatrick’s 10-yard scamper on 3rd and 5 from the Bills 25(*)(**).

(*)Thankfully, that drive ended in an INT, not another TD… it was already 21-7.

(**)Just an aside, that really has nothing to do with the Wide-9: Looking through the play-by-play of this game, Ryan Fitzpatrick threw nothing but short passes to the right, with a few short passes to the middle thrown in, and almost all out of the Shotgun. Not one deep ball (margin of error: 3). We don’t recall seeing him through down field. Between Fred Jackson and (the sometimes dangerous) C.J. Spiller running the ball and Fitzpatrick dinking and dunking to Stevie Johnson all day, the Bills are a sneaky potent Offense.

So why was the Wide-9 successful in Tennessee, but a miserable experiment here? Well, as Sal Paolantonio explains to Mike Missanelli on 97.5 The Fanatic, the Wide-9 requires specific personnel at Linebacker and Safety – you know, ones that can actually pay the positions – and coaches who coach correlating schemes. Who knew!

Is Sal Pal a witch or some kind of magical, know-it-all football demigod(***)? No, he’s a good reporter and knows how ask people questions and discover facts and put thoughts together to make conclusions. Clearly, Walruses – Walri? – don’t have that brain capacity.

(***)Psych… Everyone knows that’s Ray Didinger!

Unfortunately, a Walrus coaches and makes football decisions for our football team. Not someone with common sense, like Sal Paolantonio.

We implore you to listen to the interview, as Sal Pal offers really great insight into the Defensive Coordinator clusterfuck that occurred last offseason. And then pull your hair out in frustration.

#OccupyNovacareComplex

 


Walrus Droppings: Let the Scorn Rain Down Upon Thee

October 11, 2011

Earlier today, we retweeted a link and posted it to Facebook, but it is certainly worth another shout-out… Pro Football Talk’s Gregg Rosenthal put together a great round-up of the wrath Andy Reid is incurring from local media members.

All the usual Philly.com suspects are included: Les Bowen, John Smallwood, Bob Ford, Jeff McLane… So, what does this all mean? Why do we care that PFT is listing a rundown of articles asking if Andy Reid’s time is up?  Because the horde of voices calling for The Walrus’s head is growing. Growing exponentially!

You can see it locally on Philly.com and CSN Philly – where both Rueben Frank and Ray Didinger are jumping into the fray – across the nation on ESPN and PFT, and all over Facebook and Twitter. It took mass free agent signings, media-made hype and a back-up Quarterback making the pronouncement of a “Dream Team,” but we’re finally here: The football world sees the truth behind the mustache!

Andy Reid is not a genius. Andy Reid is not a God. Andy Reid is not the only coach who ever lived(*). No… he’s an overmatched, underprepared human being marine mammal. And his reputation doesn’t water like it used to(**).

(*)And Andy Reid certainly didn’t conjure up the game of football in his head.

(**)Obvious stomach joke here.

Look, we’ll reiterate it once more, for all the new members of Fire The Walrus nation: For a time, Andy Reid was a good coach – we still believe Jim Johnson had more than a lot to do with his success – but no matter how you feel about Reid, he is, in fact, the most successful coach the Eagles franchise has ever had. But his reign peaked in 2004, and it’s been on a downward slope ever since.

Sure, the team made a miraculous run to the NFC Championship Game in 2008, but the NFC was garbage that year, and the one true skill Andy has as a leader – keeping his guys from quitting on him – probably saved them from a disastrous season. And guess what… none of those players are here anymore. With so many new names and faces on the roster, we’d find it hard to believe that any of the new additions will buckle down and go to war for Reid – particularly following such a terrible start.

McNabb and Dawkins and Trotter believed in the coach and the system, and that went a long way to their success on the field. But are guys like Jason Babin or Cullen Jenkins or Nnamdi Asomugha really encouraged by what they’ve seen so far? Can they possibly care enough about the system that they’ll kill themselves to please Reid? Not likely… especially when you consider that Babin and Jenkins are basically playing on one-year contracts. And don’t overlook the fact that none of those guys has taken the opportunity to become a vocal clubhouse leader.

So now, people – outside of Eagles fans – are starting to finally take notice(***). The spotlight has firmly been on Andy since he acquired Asomugha and all of his other big name-small impact offseason additions, and the light is starting to shine brighter. It’s no longer just bloggers and the voices of radio personalities, like Mike Missanelli. The anti-Andy Reid movement is gaining legs!

(***)Ironically, a similar thing is happening with our dear old friend Donny Drama. Eagles’ fans knew he’s been playing with a fork sticking out of his back since 2007. Why’d it take the rest of the world four years to catch up?

The time is growing near. We can feel it. It won’t be mid-season, but The Walrus will be fired.

At least there’s something to look forward to in Philly sports this winter…


NOT-SO BREAKING NEWS: Andy Waves The (Food-Stained) White Flag

October 11, 2011

According to ESPN’s Chris Morternsen, and via profootballtalk.com, Andy Reid is considering bringing in a Defensive Consultant during the bye week. Oh boy!

Now, whether that means Juan Castillo keeps his current job or not remains to be seen. Nor does it mean that the Defense will improve at all… it’s not like a consultant is bringing new Linebackers and Safeties with him. And who exactly Andy pegs to be said consultant doesn’t really matter – PFT floats the name of former Titans’ Defensive Coordinator Chuck Cecil as a possibility – because this is just another case of the Andy Reid-regime Eagles waiting until it’s already too late to admit they were wrong.

Buddy-forbid, Reid could have just gotten it right the first time and hired an ACTUAL Defensive Coordinator. But nooooooo… his extreme stubbornness and fat arrogance makes him think he’s the smartest mammal to ever put on a coach’s headset. Didn’t you know – Andy Reid INVENTED the game of football!

It’s truly sickening. Why must it come to this? Why must the Eagles’ coaching situation need to be a national story?

Yes, we jumped on the whole ‘all in’ bandwagon too(*), but in hindsight, how could we, the team or anyone else, think they were going all out for a Super Bowl WHEN THEY HIRED THEIR FREAKING OFFENSIVE LINE COACH TO COACH THE DEFENSE. It was a major red flag, and yet, here we are, five weeks into the season and the Eagles are just now realizing that maybe it wasn’t the best idea. You think guys?!

(*)You know we’ll always be the first to admit when we’re wrong.

The Defense only gives up the fifth most points in the league (ranked 27th overall in points allowed and 26th overall in points allowed per game – an abysmal 26.4), is dead last in the Red Zone (giving up points on more than 78 percent of opponents trips inside their 20-yard line), allows the third most touchdowns per game (3.4), and is ranked 30th overall against the run and has missed an NFL record 1,238 tackles (estimated). The team is also 26th overall in takeaways and dead last in Offensive turnovers. And, oh yeah, the Defense is ranked 32nd overall (out of 32) in Defensive Efficiency – via Football Outsiders amazing stat work

Man, it’s a good thing Andy waited until Week Six of a 16-game season to address the Defensive problems!

Yesterday, Bill Simmons and Cousin Sal – on their weekly NFL recap/betting-line B.S. Report Podcast – pontificated about the Eagles woes, and if they stem from the insanely shortened offseason. Sure, there were many new faces on the team, particularly the defensive-side of the ball, and not to mention the change in coaches… but with only six weeks to prepare, how could they have gelled and become a cohesive unit? Not only was Castillo switching from Offense to Defense and was learning on the fly, but he also acquired six new starters and had to get them prepared in an extremely abridged amount of time.

Well, then how do you explain Jim Harbaugh taking over AN ENTIRE TEAM in San Francisco, with the same time frame and similar plethora of new players – not to mention the fact that they lost their best Defensive Lineman in Aubrayo Franklin – and turning the team around to a 4-1 start and an almost certain division title? How come the 49ers aren’t struggling mightily? How come the Carolina Panthers – who hired our old whipping boy Ginger McDermutt as Defensive Coordinator – are ranked 9th overall in Red Zone Defense(**)?

(**)The Panthers do, however, rank awfully low in points allowed (26th overall, ahead of the Eagles), touchdowns per game (23rd) and run D (27th).

It’s just so typical of Andy Reid to let this problem fester to this point. Assuming they DO bring in a consultant, whoever it is won’t start until the Bye Week (Week 7), when the Eagles will already be 1-5 (we assume). What’s the point? Are we to believe that a consultant can fundamentally change the Defense for the better, propelling the Eagles to a 10-game win streak and a playoff spot? Hell no. Plus, Juan Castillo will keep his job and work with the consultant. Again, what’s the point?

Unless The Walrus is also planning on hiring an Offensive Red Zone consultant(***) and a play-calling consultant and a clock management consultant, this team is not going to improve. Just like the 2007 season, the 2008 season, the 2009 season and the 2010 season, everything remains the same. Only the names of the players change.

(***)Another thing Simmons mentioned on the podcast… When the Eagles have the ball at the opponent’s goal line, you expect the Eagles Offense to move backwards. And they always do. And this is coming from someone who doesn’t watch the team regularly.

It’s time for The Billionaire and The Devil to bring in a consultant of their own. A football consultant. Someone who can oversee both the Offense and Defense.

You know… an actual NFL Head Coach.


“The Best of Andy Reid” (Otherwise Known as Week Five vs. Buffalo)

October 10, 2011

There really isn’t a whole lot that can be said about that “football” game that occurred yesterday in Buffalo.

Week Five versus the Bills was the equivalent of TimeLife Video releasing: “The Best of Andy Reid,” with such hits as:

  • Dumb penalties that negate touchdowns
  • Missed tackles and blown coverages by overpaid defenders
  • Poor clock management, resulting in zero Red Zone points
  • Bad play-calling and turnovers
  • Horrendous Offensive Line play
  • Red Zone defense gives the opposition an automatic seven points each time
  • Juan Castillo, Offensive Line Coach Defensive Coordinator
  • A  hideous brain fart (Juqua Parker) that costs the team the game

Plus, two bonus tracks, including everyone’s favorites:

  • “I Need to do a Better Job…”
  • “Time’s yours.”

This game had it all! All of your favorite Andy Reid classics in one 60-minute performance!

UGH!

Just the thought of this past weekend gives us nausea and stomach cramps. It’s really not even worth rehashing, and in fact, would cause severe head trauma and dizziness if we did. Just know that Juan Castillo should be replaced with the second-string kicking tee and Jason Avant’s “best hands on the team” were miraculously replaced with Freddie Mitchell’s. Also, Jarrad Page suffered a stinger while he was being reincarnated from Blaine Bishop’s corpse. Oh, and Juqua Parker shouldn’t be allowed on a football field ever again.

In all honesty, nothing’s going to change. Even if the Redskins do what every other team has done to us this year, save for the Rams(*), and the Eagles go into the bye week 1-5, desperately needing someone to be held accountable, nothing will change. Andy won’t fire Castillo because he’s too freaking stubborn to admit a mistake. And even if he does Walrus-up and kick Juan to the curb, who takes over then? Does it even matter? Would a new Defensive Coordinator make the team better tacklers or run-stoppers? Would the middle of the field be any less susceptible or the Red Zone defense any less porous? No.

(*)Meanwhile, if Steven Jackson doesn’t get hurt after his first run from scrimmage in Week One, the Eagles might be looking at 0-5, not 1-4.

Should Andy Reid bench Asante Samuel? YES! Someone needs to be punished for the way this Defense has played, and there’s no point to benching Linebackers that don’t exist. Asante is a bum, we’ve been saying it for years. It doesn’t matter how many interceptions he gets (just one for the year, by the way), he is the worst example of how to play Defense. But beyond whiffing on tackles – or, more appropriately, shying away from tackles completely – he just doesn’t give a shit. Asante cares about his INT numbers first and everything else second… which is exactly why he could be seen shrugging his shoulders after giving up a huge Bills’ touchdown (which one, who remembers… or cares to…).

Vick threw three interceptions in a 21 minute span. So that happened. Shady McCoy was doing awesome Shady McCoy things, until The Walrus forgot he was a member of the team. Brent Celek let everyone know he’s still alive with his ninth (yes, ninth) reception of the season. Danny Watkins, King Dunlap and Dan Kelce made us miss the days of Bobbie Williams, John Welbourn and Hank Fraley. Just a beautiful day all around!

And credit must go to Bills’ Head Coach Chan Gaily, for keeping the Eagles in the game. Fred Jackson could have ran for 432 yards on the Eagles D, but Gaily wanted to see the Eagles make a game of it and decided to pull a Reid of his own.  Jackson finished with 26 carries, but if Gaily was smart, he would have finished the day with 50 and the Bills would have won by a score of 137-who cares. So, thanks Chan Gaily!

Can you guys tell how miserable/punchy/hopeless we feel today…

Meanwhile, Vegas has posted the odds for Andy Reid to be fired, and they’re the same odds as the Eagles winning the 2011 Super Bowl… because this is Philadelphia, and God hates us.


The Day After: Is It Too Late For A Lockout?

October 10, 2011

Well, here we are… one of the lowest points in recent Philadelphia sports history. Who would have thought that July 29 – the infamous day where, in a two-hour span, the Eagles surprisingly signed Nnamdi Asomugha and the Phillies miraculously traded for Hunter Pence – would be the apex of the 2011 sports year for our tortured city? That was it. That was our championship.

There was so much hope that day, and the weeks to follow. The future looked so bright for our two favorite franchises(*) and our city was envied by sports fans across the country. The Eagles and Phillies were being LAUDED nationally… a feat so rare, it comes around as often as Halley’s Comet. Philadelphia was on the precipice of greatness, of championships, of parades… But, realistically, just on the precipice of failure.

(*)Yes, we’re four-for-four and love the Sixers and Flyers too. But we all know that the winter sports aren’t as meaningful as the summer/fall ones… at least until the playoffs start. It’s awesome that the Flyers are 2-0 and look great, but realistically, call us in May/June.

And it’s not typical failure either. The Phillies – easily the most talented team in the National League, and on the paper, the strongest team in all of baseball – failed epically. Forget everything that happened before Game 5 of the NLDS(**), the Phillies went into the most important game of the season with the best pitcher in baseball on the mound… and he threw a one-run gem! Except they couldn’t even get a man to THIRD BASE?! They couldn’t muster more than three hits, let alone a single run.

(**)Oh, Cliff and your four run lead…

Not to be outdone – and/or in an effort to steal headlines from the woeful Phillies – the pathetic Philadelphia Eagles burst out of the gate in 2011 about as well as Ryan Howard leaves the batter’s box: Crippled. The Eagles could have started 2-3 and it would have been considered a disaster. But no… that wouldn’t be enough for our fragile psyches. The Walrus’ “team” stands at 1-4 and our fans stand on the edge of the Ben Franklin Bridge.

Sports are supposed to be the distraction from our shitty lives. Our country is in an awful place, our economy is fucked, our entertainment consists of idiots from Jersey and a rich, spoiled, untalented Armenian family, we’re overworked, underpaid, pissed off… And our sports teams are simply exasperating the situation. There is nothing to look forward to, no hope on the horizon.

Sure, there’s always next year… but unless next year includes a new football coach and new starting lineup for our baseball team, there’s just going to be the year after that.

Was 2008 an aberration? A fluke? A once in a generation moment of success and pleasure, that won’t return for another 25 years? It certainly feels like it. It feels like 2008 didn’t even happen. We’re right back to where we started: always expecting the worst, always experiencing the worst.

If you can’t tell, depression is in the air today. What transpired over the past 72 hours was pure torture. It’s taken every last bit of feeling and emotion out of us. Its kicked us in the teeth and punched us in the stomach.

Where do we go from here?

It’s not like a 1-4 start, or even a 1-15 finish, will mean the definite end of The Walrus’ regime. The Billionaire and The Devil LOVE Andy. He can do no wrong. Even failing with a team (supposedly) as talented as this one, isn’t a sure thing to get him a pink slip. And doesn’t that seem where we’re headed? The disappointment and frustration isn’t enough… let’s keep the heart of the problem here and see how he can fuck it up again next year. Let’s continue to dig the knife deeper into the hearts of Philly sports fans.

We didn’t post this last night after the game, because we knew it would be a rambling, incoherent mess(***)… and obviously it still is. It’s impossible to wrap our brains around the pain we feel right now. It’s too much to even talk about Jason Avant or Juqua Parker or Blaine Bishop Jarrad Page. The individual pieces don’t matter. The entirety of the Eagles organization (and Philly sports in general) is horrifically flawed. It needs to be blown up. It needs to start from scratch. It needs to Fire The Walrus.

(***)You know, as opposed to everything else we write…

We’ll wrap this mess of a post up with something Mike Florio wrote on profootballtalk.com this morning:

“So when going ‘all in’ and losing, what happens?  Do you get a new pile of chips to gamble next year?  Or is there accountability for making a bad bet?”

We want to know the same thing Mike… we want to know the same thing. Unfortunately, Andy Reid is staked to a seemingly endless supply of chips. Will The Billionaire and The Devil ever call his bluff?

Are we sure it’s too late to have that lockout?

 More to come… (including an actual recap of the embarrassment that was the Eagles versus the Bills).


Project #OccupyNovacareComplex

October 6, 2011

You’re probably aware – or at least should be aware – that there is a movement going on right now in New York City (and being adopted by various other cities) known as Occupy Wall Street. In short, Occupy Wall Street is a protest against the fat cats on Wall Street who are responsible for our failing economy and the fact that they NEED to be held accountable.

The movement is keeping up a running theme that’s currently in vogue throughout the world: Revolution.

So far in 2011, we’ve seen a revolution in Egypt, uprisings in Syria and Yemen, riots and protests across the Middle East, in Wisconsin, and now on Wall Street. Demanding accountability and repercussions for actions is all the rage these days, and it is high time die-hard Eagles fans jumped on that bandwagon.

Now, we’re not actually suggesting a physical revolt or violent protest… But The Billionaire and The Devil NEED to be told how we (the paying, forever-loyal customers) feel about the current state of the team. Much like the Wall Street execs that don’t give one shit about the rest of this country and the awesome predicament they put us in, Lurie and Banner simply tune out the fans, our complaints and our burning, never-fleeting desire to see the Eagles WIN A FREAKING SUPER BOWL.

We demand satisfaction. We demand respect. We demand a football coach who is more concerned with the play on the field than a reporter asking him a question he doesn’t like. We demand a Lombardi trophy and a coach capable of delivering one.

We’re putting out a call to all Eagles fans and everyone in Fire The Walrus nation: Get on your Facebook, get on your Twitter, get on your Google+ (that’s still a thing, right?), get on the Eagles’ message boards, get on 9.75 and 94.1, and let the Eagles’ bigwigs know that we will no longer stand for this!

We demand accountability for The Walrus’ crimes against Eagles fans. Forget the economy failing our country… our team is failing our city. This isn’t football, this is life… and Andy Reid has pushed us around for too long!(*)

#OccupyNovacareComplex! #OccupyTheLinc! #FireTheWalrus!

(*)Please note: This is meant to be tongue-in-cheek. In no way are we trying to undermine the importance of what’s going on around the world.


Whisker Wednesday

October 5, 2011

Yes, you read that right… It’s the long-awaited return of Whisker Wednesday!(*)

(*)Assuming you’ve been waiting patiently by the computer for it…

Strained Relationships
Over at Philly.com, Paul Domowitch discusses the fine points of The Walrus’ straining relationship with the Philly media. Domo touches on some good points, particularly how the tenure of a coach has a direct effect on that coach’s relationship with the local media. More or less, the longer a coach remains in one place, the less information he thinks he needs to provide to the media. According to Domo:

“After 13 years as the Eagles’ king, after 13 years of listening to his agent tell him how powerful and omniscient he is, Reid feels he can do pretty much whatever he wants, whether it’s promoting an offensive-line coach to defensive coordinator or defying the NFL’s media policy.”

Another point revolves around the fans and what they want. Domo claims its information, but this is where we disagree. Eagles’ fans have disliked Reid for so long for one reason more than any: his arrogance. We touched on this the other day, but it’s true. It’s not that Reid doesn’t give enough info in his press conferences – like Domo says in the article, or common sense would dictate, the majority of coaches are withholding and stingy when  it comes to sharing information – but the fact that he has such an attitude about it.

Again, Walrus, you didn’t invent the game of football. Come down from that ivory (tusk) tower and remember that YOU HAVEN’T WON A DAMN SUPER BOWL YET!

Calling Danny Watkins
If you haven’t heard yet, 2011 first-round pick Danny Watkins will finally step foot onto a football field this year… to play!

Honestly, who cares? Watkins is yet another in a long line of underwhelming Andy Reid first-round picks. Sure, Brock Lesner’s twin hasn’t played a down of regular season ball yet, but we all know what’s coming, right? Failure.

Maybe it was the lack of an offseason, but Watkins got a chance in preseason and was clearly overwhelmed and overmatched. Reading the tea leaves, this doesn’t bode well with his pro prospects. Offensive Line, particularly the Guard spot, is usually a position that rookies are capable of stepping right into. So far, not so much for Watkins. We hope he proves us wrong… but he likely won’t.

The Dream is Dead
Vince Young may have declared this Eagles team to be a “Dream Team,” but like the back-up he is, his comment now has to take a back seat to the team’s real leader.

According to CSN Philly’s Andy Schwartz, Mike Vick has officially declared the “Dream Team” label dead. Thank Buddy!

“I think the Dream Team … that word is dead now,” Vick said Wednesday before practice. “You can’t talk Dream Team anymore. Maybe it put pressure on some players, maybe it didn’t. But I think just the fact that people turned it around and was talking about it creates a sense of pressure.”

Oh Michael, how we wholeheartedly agree… until he followed that up with this doozy:

“I think that’s over with now,” he said, “and I think that we’re one of the teams that scratch and kick from the bottom now and figure out how we’re going to get ourselves back to a position of being one of the best teams in the league.”

You know how you do that, Mike? Lose(**). Get The Walrus fired. And maybe put your team in a position to draft the next coming of Joe Montana Andrew Luck.

(**)We cannot actually root for the Eagles to lose… no matter how much closer it makes the “Walrus Fired!”  headline to being a reality. It’s just not in our makeup. It would be like rooting for a family member to commit suicide.

The Walrus Has No One To Blame But The Walrus Himself
In case you weren’t sick of fed up with murderous at Andy Reid for continuously claiming that HE needs to do a better job, Reuben Frank wrote an entire piece on CSN Philly yesterday about Reid putting the blame for the 1-3 start on his own bulky shoulders.

It’s chock full of Reid’s typical bag of cliches and half-assed excuses. Give it a read, it’ll infuriate you. It’ll get your Walrus-hating juices flowing. It’ll make you puke in your mouth when you remember he’s been saying this same bullshit for 13 FREAKING YEARS NOW!

“We’ve got to make sure we fix it,” Reid said. “I obviously don’t like what I’m seeing, and I’m a part of that problem.”

No Andy… you ARE the problem!(***)

(***)You know, and the whole no tackling thing…

Make sure you all thank Rube for yet another reminder of why we desperately need to Fire The Walrus!