Whisker Wednesday

January 19, 2011

  • Mike Missanelli hosted an Eagles Wrap-up Roundtable yesterday on 97.5 The Fanatic(*), featuring former-Eagles/current-Philadelphia media personality Vai Sikahema, ESPN Senior NFL Reporter (and South Philly native) Sal Paolantonio and Tim McManus, Eagles beat reporter for The Fanatic and phillysportsdaily.com (which you should definitely check out if you haven’t already).(*)And will broadcast live with Mike Vick today at 3:30 p.m.

    The general consensus of the discussion leaned towards two conclusions: With the offseason in limbo, the Eagles will likely stick with the 4-3 defense, meaning Dick Jauron is the easy answer to the question “Who’s the next DC?”; and, it’s time for Andy Reid to go.

    To further that point, Sal Pal – who is well-known to be a lifelong Eagles fan and has been favorable of Reid in the past – openly ripped the Eagles management, even saying (to my delight) that The Billionaire Lurie and The Devil Banner are more concerned with counting their money than winning championships! Hmmmm… where have we heard that before?
    Missanelli also mentioned a comment made by Mark Schlereth, ESPN NFL analyst and three-time Super Bowl Champion. Per Schlereth, Andy Reid’s style of football will never win a championship. A member of the back-to-back champion-Denver Broncos, he points to controlling the game by effectively running the ball and playing a brand of smashmouth defense. Shit, maybe the Birds should just hire Schlereth.

  • As the Coordinator Position Turns… Yes, the Eagles Defensive Coordinator position is still wide open – which I view as a good thing, because there are some great defensive minds who’s team are still currently playing – but some new names were thrown into the mix yesterday. NY Jets’ DC Mike Pettine, Jr.’s name was being floated around, but just as I had suspected when researching potential hires, he is not looking to leave Rex Ryan’s side anytime soon. It was also pointed out yesterday (by I believe Sal Pal) that Pettine has never called plays – an integral role for the Eagles Defensive Coordinator, as Reid’s defensive knowledge is on par with his dieting habits… nonexistent.Mike Trgovac, Green Bay’s Defensive Line Coach, is another name that gained some momentum in the last 24-hours. You may remember Trgovac as the Eagles’ D-Line Coach under Ray Rhodes. He also manned the Carolina Panthers’ Defense from 2003 to 2008 and was rather successful.

    Sources also claim that the Eagles’ are in talks to bring in long-tenured Tennessee Titans Defensive Line Coach, Jim Washburn… as D-Line Coach. You might think that’s a move that puts the cart before the horse – securing a Line Coach before a DC – but Washburn is one of the best in the business and has passed up numerous chances to be a coordinator. For him, it would be a lateral move. For us, he’d be the best defensive assistant since Ron Rivera was on the staff.

  • John (Gonzo) Gonzalez, Philadelphia Inquirer Columnist, wrote a brilliantly scathing article about The Walrus, his propensity for lying and his brand of comedy. Lying to the media is something that has never bothered me about Reid – he’s a football coach, that’s what they do – particularly about the status of players and coaches. Reid simply won’t throw people under the bus, and that’s admirable.Not to keep plugging Sal Paolantonio, but during that Fanatic Roundtable, he suggested that the move to fire McDermutt came from the very top, over Andy’s head. It would make sense, considering The Billionaire and The Devil needed a fall guy, and they clearly aren’t going to answer our prayers by firing The Walrus anytime soon.
  • You know how the Eagles are currently lacking in playmaking Linebackers? Yeah, that’s nothing new. Reuben Frank, Eagles Beat Writer for CSN Philly and Burlington Courier Times, dredges up the depressing history of the Linebacker position under the Andy Reid-regime.God, I miss the days of Willie T…

    Look for a new Whisker Wednesday Poll coming later today!

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Posted by Chase Wexler

Reason #3 to Fire The Walrus

January 18, 2011

Freddie Mitchell

Ugh. I feel like this doesn’t need any further explanation, but let’s rehash this horrid experience from Eagles history anyhow:

  • Desperate for a real playmaker on offense, and armed with the 25th pick in the first round of the 2001 NFL Draft, The Walrus, then-GM Tom Modrak and the Eagles personnel team took Mitchell and passed on four Pro Bowl Wide Receivers, two Pro Bowl Tight Ends and two other wideouts that weren’t great but would have been an insurmountable improvement over that talentless assclown known as FredEx:
    • Reggie Wayne, 1st round, 30th pick (Pro Bowler)
    • Todd Heap, 1st round, 31st pick (Pro Bowler)
    • Quincy Morgan, 2nd round, 33rd pick (decent #2-3 wideout)
    • Alge Crumpler, 2nd round, 35th pick (Pro Bowler)
    • Chad Johnson (aka Ochocinco), 2nd round, 36th pick (Pro Bowler)
    • Robert Ferguson, 2nd round, 41st pick (decent #2 wideout)
    • Chris Chambers, 2nd round, 52nd pick (Pro Bowler)
    • Steve Smith, 3rd round, 74th pick (Pro Bowler)

The Eagles could have also taken anyone of these playmakers (though Morgan flamed out once he was traded to Dallas), but instead went with the smallish (maybe 6′ and definitely under 200 lbs.), speedy and cocky wideout from Los Angeles (sound like someone else we know?).

But, again, hindsight is 20/20.

  • The fact that Freddie Mitchell was the sole Eagle to provoke the Patriots through the media leading up to Super Bowl 39. Even Terrell Owens kept his mouth shut (though he was slightly busy getting his broken leg ready for the game). The only good thing to come out of that, was Bill Belichick calling Mitchell out after the game saying, “He’s terrible. I was happy when he was in the game.”Mitchell, by the way, caught one ball for 11 yards in the game.
  • “I’d like to thank my hands for being so great.” Sorry Freddie, but I hate to break it to you… your hands, not what you think they are. In four years, Freddie caught 90 balls. He did however average 14 yards per catch. Maybe he should have thanked his feet.
  • The nicknames… I know you remember them. Of course there’s the aforementioned “FredEx”, but his most (in)famous is probably “The People’s Champ” – you may remember him carrying around a WWE-style belt to press conferences and such. What championship did he ever win, I always wondered. Then there was “The Sultan of Slot,” which would have been a clever for the Madden version of Freddie Mitchell (who could absolutely destroy the middle of the field in Madden 02); Hollywood, because he was from Hollywood (get it?) and because he was once on the show Blind Date (I guess?); First Down Freddie, which actually carried some weight, because it seemed he’d always pick up a first the few times he did catch the ball; and of course Fourth Down Freddie or 4th and 26 Freddie.Which brings us too…
  • 4th and 26. Freddie Mitchell’s shining moment. Listen up fellow Eagles fans… Yes, 4th and 26 is a nice memory, but guess what, it proved to be meaningless in the end and is FAR from the Eagles greatest plays.Sure, the win against Brett Favre and the Packers was a great win, but it was a Divisional Round game – the first of the postseason for the Eagles, who secured homefield and a bye – and was made entirely moot the next week, when they lost at home, as favorites, to the Carolina Panthers. If Freddie Mitchell had any real talent, maybe he would have been able to get off the line of scrimmage and catch a freaking pass in that game. Instead, the Panthers Defensive Backs and Linebackers absolutely destroyed the Birds’ receivers at the line, blowing up their routes and their confidence. But that’s neither here nor there.4th and 26 was a really awesome play, totally memorable and endearing, but (again) its far from one of the best Eagles plays of all-time. It doesn’t come close to 4th-and-1 against Dallas (my all-time personal favorite). It doesn’t measure up to DeSean’s return this year (which similarly feels a little less special, considering it was the absolute apex of the 2010 Eagles season). It’s not nearly as good as the legendary Wilbert Montgomery game-sealing touchdown against Dallas in the 1980 Championship Game, the original Miracle in the Meadowlands, Randall Cunningham jumping over Giants Linebackers or even Donovon McNabb juking two Redskins defenders out of their shoes. 4th and 26 is great, but its forever tainted by the egotistical jackass who caught it.

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Posted by Chase Wexler

Reason #627 to Fire The Walrus

January 18, 2011

The $138 Million Mistake: Building the Offensive Line around Shawn Andrews

$138 million combined for Shawn “Getting my Michael Phelps on” Andrews, his big brother Stacy “I have a girl’s name for a reason” Andrews and Jason “Turnstile” Peters, Shawns’ best friend and college roommate.

Shawn Andrews, the 16th overall pick in the 2004 draft and heir apparent to John Runyun’s Right Tackle throne –thoroughly covered here – received a healthy (no pun intended) contract extension (seven years, $40 million), following a dominating Pro Bowl season in 2006. Andrews continued the trend the next season, going to a third-straight Pro Bowl, but then strange mental health and back issues limited him to just two games in two seasons, eventually leading to his release in 2009.

With Andrews’ mental health becoming a major distraction – he missed 17 days of training camp in 2008 for no apparent reason, grew an odd faux-hawk and, again, got his “Michael Phelps on” – and with the team already investing multiple drafts picks and chunks of cap space in him, The Walrus and The Devil thought it a good idea to surround this guy with people that would keep him in line.

Right at the start of Free Agency, the Birds snatched up Shawn’s older sister brother Stacy, ranked as one of the top-five free agents, even though he was coming off a major knee injury – it wasn’t the strongest class – for $38 million over six years. The week of the NFL draft, the team traded the 28th overall pick (they still had the 21st overall) and a fourth-round selection to the Buffalo Bills for disgruntled Pro Bowl Left Tackle, Jason Peters. The Eagles subsequently gave Peters a six-year, $60 million deal, with $24 million guaranteed, as Reid called him the best Left Tackle in football… even though Peters gave up the most sacks of any starting lineman the previous year (not a red flag for anyone?).

So what did $138 million in contracts, two first-round picks, a second and a fourth add up to:

  • Two games from Shawn Andrews, who was then cut, drafted by an UFL team (though he didn’t sign), picked up by the Giants during the Pre-season – who gave him a six-year, $32 million deal!??! – where he started seven games (and played very well) before hurting his back. Again.
  • Ten games from Stacy (two starts), who was constantly injured, forced to take a pay cut (dropping his base salary from $2.95 million to $1.15) and then shipped to Seattle for a seventh-round pick in 2011 (where he started 12 games?!). He lasted 18 months in Philly.
  • Twenty-eight starts from Peters, who has been decent (at best) at Left Tackle, and has inexplicably made the Pro Bowl each year as an Eagles (on reputation alone). Much like Tra Thomas before him, Peters gets called for holding and/or offsides WAY too often, and can be confused for a turnstile against good Defensive Ends.

Oh and by the way, the reason they invested two draft picks and a ton of money in Jason Peters, was to protect McNabb’s – and then Kolb’s – blindside. With Peters blocking Vick’s weakside, guys like Antoine Winfield, DeMarcus Ware and Clay Matthews absolutely maiming the Eagles’ Quarterback all season.

Yet another reason to Fire The Walrus.

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Posted by Chase Wexler

If Jim Johnson’s Shadow Is Too Large, Try Going Outside Of It

January 17, 2011

So, now that the Eagles have finally moved past the dark days of the Ginger McDermutt-era – but not yet those of The Walrus – there are a few names being circulated as to who will replace him as the Bird’s next Defensive Coordinator.

As you know, my cries of Rob Ryan (predictably) went unanswered and now we’ll have to deal with him twice a year  – and with DeMarcus Ware, Anthony Spencer and Jay Ratliff at his disposal. Wonderful. That’ll work out great for the Eagles (though fortunately, the Cowgirls don’t have a single defense back to fear). Other fans were chirping for former-49ers Head Coach Mike Singletary – who famously captained Buddy Ryan’s vaunted 46 defense during his playing days in Chicago – but he’s now coaching the linebackers for his former Bears-teammate Leslie Frazier in Minnesota.

Many sources have been touting Jim Mora, Jr. as the frontrunner for the gig, with Dick Jauron not far behind. I highly doubt that Jauron gets offered the job, considering the fact that Reid could have made the move to him at any point over the course of last season. It does seem strange that he hasn’t accepted the Cleveland Browns DC position yet, giving credence to the rumors that he may stay here, but it seems that Reid is intent on completely cleaning house defensively, cutting ties with longtime Defensive Line coach Rory Segrest. Bill Shuey, Linebackers coach, inexplicably still has a job…

As for Mora, sure, he comes from the Mike Holmgren coaching tree and has been a Head Coach (twice), but absolutely nothing remarkable jumps out from his coaching career… besides the time he called Mike Vick a coach killer! His numbers as a Defensive Coordinator (with the 49ers from 1999 to 2003) and Head Coach (with the Falcons from 2004 to 2006, and the Seahawks in 2009) are pretty bad. Sean McDermutt-bad.

In his eight combined years in charge of the defenses in San Francisco and Atlanta, Mora’s units had an average rank of 19th in total defense, never cracking the top-12 in any single season. Even McDermutt reached that mark. Similarly, Mora’s defensive scoring averaged 19th overall. In his three years in Seattle – two as Defensive Backs Coach – the defensive backfield ranked 27th overall in passing yards allowed per game, 18th in interceptions and 21st in passes defended. In short, Mora’s defensive units have been mediocre to bad to horrendous. And he’s going to be the Eagles next DC?!

Surprisingly – or I guess, not surprisingly, since his name has been mentioned for EVERY defensive coaching position available – Eric Mangini’s name was thrown into the mix. It’s definitely an intriguing name. Though he failed twice as a Head Coach, and has a reputation around football for being a huge prick, Mangini was an integral cog in Bill Belichick’s Super Bowl-winning defenses – though with the alleged use of video cameras (made by Mangini no less), who knows how effective Belichick’s defenses really were.

What’s enticing about Mangini – aside from the Super Bowl pedigree – is the fact that he solely runs a 3-4 defense. And in a constantly evolving game, the 3-4 is currently (and once again) king, with almost half of the teams in the NFL – 15 in all – utilizing some form of the 3-4 as their base defense. In fact five of the top-six defenses in 2010 run a base 3-4 (the Chargers, Steelers, Jets, Packers and Dolphins).

Is this Eagles defense equipped with the right personnel to make such a dramatic switch? Probably not. For one thing, they certainly don’t have the boulder-sized, beast-of-a-nose-tackle needed to anchor the 3-4. And on top of that, they jettisoned three guys last offseason who would have fit perfectly in that alignment (Chris Gocong, Chris Clemons and – Pro Bowler?! – Jason Babin).

But, as pointed out by NFL Network’s Mike Lombardi on Tony Bruno and Harry Mayes’ 97.5 The Fanatic midday show, in an offseason that could likely see a shortened training camp/pre-season (ie. Practice Time), it’s unlikely that the Eagles would drastically change their schemes and philosophy (you know, short of firing The Walrus and starting fresh).

Here are two names that that you haven’t heard of (at all), but should warrent some attention: Mark Carrier and Darren Perry.

Mark Carrier, current Defensive Line Coach for the New York Jets, followed Rex Ryan from Baltimore, where he was the Ravens’ Secondary Coach from 2006 to 2009. Carrier, a three-time Pro Bowl free safety with the Bears, Lions, Redskins from 1990 to 2000, heads a defensive front ranked 5th against the run, 11th versus the pass and 8th in total sacks (with no one player getting more than 4.5 for the year). That’s a really solid unit, who absolutely battered and mauled Tom Brady yesterday.

From 2005 to 2009, Carrier had the Ravens’ secondary consistently in the top-ten of every major category, with a four-year average of the 9th overall pass defense, 5th in interceptions (#1 overall twice) and 4th in passes defended (#1 in ’08).

Darren Perry, current Green Bay Packers’ Defensive Backs Coach, was also a safety in the NFL (with the Steelers, where he was paired with Rod Woodson, Chargers and Saints from 1992 to 2000) – and also broke some interception records at a certain school coached by one JoePa. Over the past two seasons, Perry has coached the Packers’ secondary to extraordinary numbers (5th overall in passing yards in 2009 and 2010; 1st in INT in 2009, 2nd in 2010; 1st in passes defended in 2009, 2nd in 2010), in large part to Charles Woodson. But Perry’s units have progressed nicely as he’s matured as a coach, having averaged 13th in pass yards, 11th in picks and 10th in passes defended with the Steelers from 2004 to 2006, and with the Raiders in 2007 and 2008, he averaged 9th, 10th and 17th, respectively. For his career, his unit’s average in the top-ten in each category. Shouldn’t this guy be a scorching hot Defensive Coordinator candidate? He has been at the tutelage of legendary Defensive Coordinators Dick LeBeau and Dom Capers… teams just haven’t noticed him?

Why not take a shot at one of these young, up-and-coming coaches? Sean McDermutt comes to mind. But why not? This defense is young and needs new blood. Dave Wannstedt is not new blood. Dick Jauron and Bill Davis aren’t new blood. Even Eric Mangini is used up and tainted by losing.

Perry and Carrier’s teams are still playing. Their defenses rank in the top-five in the league. I say The Walrus waits a week or two and tries to sink his tusks into one of these two.

If not, it’ll likely just be more of the same. And we’ll still be calling to Fire the Walrus.

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Posted by Chase Wexler

NOT-SO BREAKING NEWS: Walrus Finally Fires ‘Mutt

January 15, 2011

It’s official! Andy Reid finally used his giant hairy flippers to find his Walrus balls and fire one of the worst Defensive Coordinators to ever come through the great City of Brotherly Love-Taking-The-Head-Off-The-Other-Teams-Quarterback.

Sean McDermutt, LET the door hit your ass on the way out of town! It’s the least you can do for us.

Sure, his D wasn’t the WORST ranked defense the last two years – ranked 12th overall in 2009 and 2010 – but the way they let offenses walk all over them on 3rd-down and in the redzone was an ugly, abysmal site.

The stats are glaring. In 2010, the Eagles ranked 30th in opposing touchdowns in the redzone, averaging 2 per game, and dead last in redzone scoring percentage, allowing opponents to score on almost 80% of their trips inside the 20-yard line. They also ranked 20th in 3rd-down conversion percentage (5.2 per game) and 21st in scoring defense, giving up 23.4 points per game.

Awful.

A football team is only as good as it’s defense (watch the remainder of the playoffs), and the Eagles were a 7-9/8-8 team at best. The Eagles didn’t deserve to be in the playoffs… Michael Vick did. The stats prove it, the offense was good (and with a real line, could have been great), but the defense was simply mediocre. Vick was worth two wins.

Now the question is what happens next? Will The Walrus stay in house (likely) and snatch up Dick Jauron before the Browns pry him away? I’d say doubtful, considering Andy could have made that change at any point in the season. Rory Segrest, Defensive Line Coach, and Bill Shuey, Linebackers Coach, were both considered candidates to replace the late-Jim Johnson, before the job surprising went to McDermutt, and will probably get another look.

As you know, I’ve been screaming for Rob Ryan – Buddy Ryan’s son and Rex’s twin brother – because he has the attitude, swagger and balls that this defense has sorely been missing. He demands a hardnosed, tough, head-hunting unit… in other words, Eagles football. Plus, the Eagles can steal him from the Cowboys, who are reportedly close to signing him.

What are the other options? Besides starting from scratch and firing The Walrus… I don’t know. As I pointed out yesterday, one of things Andy has a knack for is putting the right assistants around him. He swung and missed (miserably) with McDermutt. Let’s hope he connects this try. At least for now, we can be happy that Ginger is gone and hopefully forgotten. Now all The Eagles need are three new linebackers, a real defensive tackle, another defensive end, at least one cornerback and a strong safety (the slightly-underwhelming Quintin Mikell is a free agent). Awesome.

Let’s just Fire The Walrus instead.

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Posted by Chase Wexler

The Walrus’ Tree is Better Than The Hoddie’s… But The Hoddie’s Roots Are Deeper

January 14, 2011

With the announcement yesterday that the Cleveland Browns hired Pat Shurmur as their next Head Coach, coupled with Ron Rivera becoming the Carolina Panthers Head Coach earlier this week – and let’s not forget Leslie Frazier officially getting the call in Minnesota – The Walrus has now produced six NFL Head Coaches. SIX!

That’s the same number that the three (probably soon-to-be-four)-time Super Bowl-champion (and supposed “greatest coach to ever stalk a sideline”) Bill Belichick has sired. Seems crazy right? But it’s not that ludicrous when you remember that the Eagles were one of the top-three winning-est teams of the last decade. It’s no surprise that Jim Johnson, one of the greatest Defensive Coordinators of the last 25 years, spawned numerous Head Coaches – making assistants like Rivera and Frazier hot commodities, particularly when JJ himself passed on numerous head coaching gigs.

Over the course of Andy’s tenure in Philly, four major coaching trees have emerged: Reid’s, Belichick’s, Tony Dungy’s and Bill Cohwer’s – with The Walrus and The Hoodie producing the most with six apiece. It’s premature to start comparing the offspring of these two coaching behemoths(*) – mainly because three of Reid’s protégés just took the reins – but it’s certainly still fun to see how they measure up.

(*)One being a behemoth in the coaching/winning sense; The other much more in the literal sense.

It’s also interesting to note that these two coaching trees are rooted in arguably two of the most important coaching families in NFL history, headed by two other similar head coaching contemporaries: Mike Holmgren and Bill Parcells.

As you can see from the two charts (Reid’s Coaches on the left and Belichick’s on the right, below), Andy’s former assistants (at least the ones that have actual experience as a Head Coach) seem to fair pretty well – save for one that looks more like a “To Catch a Predator” pedophile than a football coach. We’ll hold our judgments for Frazier, Rivera and Shurmur for now, but personally, I’m a big Rivera fan. As for Belichick’s guys… nothing impressive at all, really. The best coach he produced so far is Kirk Ferentz, Head Coach at the University of Iowa. And let’s not forget the Charlie Weis-Notre Dame debacle.

Why does this matter? What does it say that Andy’s tree bears better fruit than Belichick’s? Well, for one it points to one of The Walrus’ better traits: He knows how to surround himself with the right assistants (though Sean McDermutt is a WHOLE other story). But I think it proves one glaring thing: Where Reid puts plans and people in places he thinks they’ll succeed, Belichick is INVOLVED with every minor detail. Reid is a good game planner, but a horrific in-game coach. Belichick is brilliant at both, and is by far the superior coach… Obviously, no body was arguing that fact.

Look at the family trees of Holmgren (top of page) and Parcells (below). The Parcells family has won seven Super Bowls to Holmgren’s two. Why is that? Holmgren was a disciple of Bill Walsh, inventor of the West Coast Offense. Holmgren’s disciples advanced the West Coast Offense, and continued its evolution and philosophy. Parcell’s style – and subsequently his coaching disciple’s styles – is predicated on defense first. Tough, physical, smashmouth football teams. The Holmgren tree was built on finesse and offense. Seven to two… That says it all.

Ironically, four of the six coaches to come from the Reid school of football are defensive coaches. And why is that? Two words: Jim Johnson. Much like Parcells’ and Belichick’s championship teams, the Eagles of the 2000’s won all those games because of defense. Jim Johnson’s defense, not Andy Reid’s. It’s no surprise that three guys I would LOVE to see as Head Coach of the Philadelphia Eagles – John Harbaugh, Steve Spagnuolo and Ron Rivera – are head coaches elsewhere.

Defense. Defense. Defense. That’s how you win championships.

Yet another reason to Fire The Walrus.

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Posted by Chase Wexler

Whisker Wednesday Poll

January 12, 2011

Whisker Wednesday continues with the Whisker Wednesday Poll: What’s the strangest thing ever found in The Walrus’ Mustache?

A good group of choices, but there certainly is a long list of objects that have vanished in those thick walrus-y upper lip follicles.

Got anything weirder than these? Leave them in the comments.

Coming soon… Two Tusk Tuesday!

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Posted by Chase Wexler

Whisker Wednesday

January 12, 2011

• Who Wants to Fire The Walrus? Mikey Miss Does!
If you listen to Mike Missanelli on 97.5 FM The Fanatic – and I most certainly do on a daily basis(*) – then you probably know that he similarly wants to see Reid get the boot.

(*)We’ll definitely be getting to my pure, unadulterated hatred for that fraudulent Burger King-mascot assclown Howard Eskin, and his “buddy-buddy” relationship with The Walrus soon enough. My theory in short: He’s trying to get close enough to skin The Walrus so he can make another coat.

Mikey Miss also writes for phillymag.com’s The Philly Post, which you should definitely check out. Here’s a sampling of Missanelli post today, regarding our favorite water mammal, entitled “Andy Reid is Done”:

Well, I’m sick of the whole thing. For me, Andy Reid’s shelf life has expired. It happens to everyone in sports eventually. It happened with Donovan McNabb. We were just ready to turn the page. Things got stale. And the same thing has happened with Reid. I’m tired of the inferior game plans that succumb to the opponents who aren’t supposed to come into your home field and win a playoff game. I’m tired of the mistakes in picking personnel and drafting. I’m tired of the lack of sideline management and game day adjustments. I’m tired of the food jokes. I want out.

Well done Mikey Miss. This is why you’re number one!

• Ron Rivera, We Wish You Were Here
Former Eagles Linebackers coach and longtime Buddy Ryan-Jim Johnson protégé, Ron Rivera is the new head coach of the Carolina Panthers. Shit. I’ve always loved this guy, who was simply too good of a coach to be an assistant, forcing him to leave JJ’s staff to be a coordinator and eventual-head coach. Honestly, it shouldn’t have taken this long… specifically because the Eagles should have shitcanned The Walrus in favor of him years ago. This quote from his introduction press conference alone should make The Billionaire and The Devil regret not bringing him back here (via profootballtalk.com):

Rivera says the team will keep a 4-3 defense. One of Rivera’s attractive qualities is that he’s coached a 4-3 and a 3-4 defense. He says the talent in Carolina is built for a 4-3 and he will have an “attacking” style like some of his mentors Buddy Ryan and Jim Johnson.

• Packers Fan’s Car Destroyed, Blames Eagles Fans
See this story?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, Philadelphia fans are crazy and tough and destructive and blah, blah, blah… Come on dude, cut the bullshit. You stayed in the stadium late to celebrate Favre’s Shadow’s first playoff win, were so overjoyed when you got in the car that you weren’t paying attention and inadvertently hit a certain Walrus-like figure dressed in all black when exiting the parking lot. It’s ok, you aren’t the first, and until they rid us of this dangerously huge, tusked, small-brained Walrus, you won’t be the last.

• Eagles Sign Sinorice Moss?!
Really, Walrus? I don’t think I’d take Santana Moss at this point, let alone his undersized (and that’s an understatement) kid brother who never lived up to the second round pick the Giants wasted on him. What, Jeremy Bloom wasn’t available?

• Half-a-Week Later and McDermutt is Still Here?
Even though The Walrus announced that Ginger would be back as D-Coordinator (and Eagles-nation simultaneously shuddered in fear) I’m still holding out hope that that was one of Andy’s blatant lies. But I wouldn’t be remotely surprised if he was telling the truth. The wait continues…

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Posted by Chase Wexler

Reason #4,382 to Fire The Walrus

January 11, 2011

The 2003 and 2004 NFL Drafts

Sixteen picks over two drafts produced only two – yes, TWO – starters: Shawn Andrews and L.J. Smith. And we know how that ended up (Gettin’ my Michael Phelps on, gettin’ my Michael Phelps on…). Look at those two drafts though, and keep in mind, these came at the height of the Reid-era. Without getting into the ridiculous business of naming who they could have taken (hindsight is 20/20 afterall), let’s see what became of the players they did in fact end up with:

2003

  • McDougle – After trading up to get him (though not huge price), he held out for two weeks, was hit with the injury bug early, then (unfortunately) a bullet, which he (fortunately) recovered from, but then, after missing almost three full seasons, he (unfortunately) shredded his knee and was done.
  • Smith – Oy. Easily the most inconsistent football player ever not named Chris Boniol. I could easily write 1,000 words about the way this guy carried the ball alone, but I’ll spare you. Thankfully, The Walrus spared us and didn’t re-sign him.
  • McMullen – Big, strong build and (supposedly) good hands…. never showed it and bounced around the league as a special team-er.
  • Green – Showed promise early (at least more so than McDougle), but wasn’t more than a rotation guy for a year or two.
  • Bridges and Lejeune – Both hung around for a year or two as practice squad/third-string guys.
  • *Simoneau – Traded a sixth and fourth for a veteran who wasn’t worth the sixth… And somehow started for two years?!
    2004
  • Andrews – A heartbreaking story… until he became an obnoxious baby. Sure, phantom back and mental problems set him back, but he was on his way to potentially being a Hall of Famer. Damn you, Shawn Andrews, you Michael Phelps-in’ waste of talent.
  • Ware – Was he a corner? Was he a safety? Was he a football player? No, no and no.
  • Reed – J.R. Reed seemed poised to fill the big shoes left by legendary returnman Brian Mitchell, but weirdly tore a muscle in his leg hopping a fence (?) during his first offseason and never fully recovered.
  • Darilek – I vaguely remember him having to make a spot start or two, but think he was last seen in the vicinity of Reid’s mustache and hasn’t been heard from since.
  • Tapeh – Was a decent replacement for the underrated Cecil Martin and way-past-his-prime John Ritchie for a season, maybe two, but couldn’t catch the ball… deeming him useless for The Walrus’ 92 to 8 pass-to-run ratio.
  • Hall, Wynn, Clarke, Perry, Furio – May as well have been me, you and some day laborers on the practice squad.

Moral of the story: Not one of those guys was on the Eagles in 2010, and aside from the brief flashes of Andrews and Smith, not one of those guys lasted more than three, maybe four years in the NFL. If Andy hits on one of those picks, it could have put the team over the top in 2004, and if more than one pan out, maybe they don’t take a major step back in 2005. Instead they go on to lose the Super Bowl by three points and suffer on a talent-level.

Just another reason to Fire The Walrus.

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Posted by Chase Wexler

The Day After: Walrus Craves Prime Rib*

January 10, 2011

So yesterday happened and here we are again… Just one more season that ends on an interception. One more season that ends in disappointmet. One more season without Lombardi in South Philly.

It’s sad. Not the way they lost so much – shit they overachieved all season, can’t be too mad – but more the fact that football is over in Philadelphia and a LONG winter awaits (though thank God for the Phils). That and the fact that The Walrus and his regime are still here, breaking hearts all over the Delware Valley.

And even before we could take a breath from what just transpired, The Walrus already gave us a glimpse at what the future holds for next season (you know, besides it ending with an INT): Sean McDermott (aka Ginger McDermutt) will return as defensive coordinator.

That sound you hear is Jim Johnson spinning in his grave.

Just because he’s a disciple of the legendary JJ, doesn’t mean McDermutt can fill his shoes. In fact, the past two seasons proved that Ginger can’t amount to Ray Rhodes. His players are soft, undersized and couldn’t tackle junior college running backs, let alone NFL-caliber players. Where Jim Johnson was the master of the blitz, Ginger seems to be allergic to the thought of sending anyone at the QB besides down linemen. The middle of the field has become free-range for wide receivers and tight ends. And why shouldn’t it be? Who on this defense is going to take someone’s head off? Surely not Asante Olé Samuel.

Philadelphia is a defensive-minded town. We’re the home of Bednarik, Brookshire, Bergey, White, Simmons, Hopkins, Dawkins, Buddy Fucking Ryan. We’d much rather see Trent Cole come flying off the corner to crush Eli Manning, than Vick drop back and deliver a 50-yard bomb to DeSean. The D that’s been trotted out there the last two years has been a disgrace. No collective heart. No toughness. There are no “scare the shit out of you-Ray Lewis/Clay Matthews type” warriors on this team.

Sure, there were a rash of injuries this year and multiple 7th round picks were asked to step up, but to bring Ginger McDermutt back for another year is a travesty. Eagles fans deserve better. Trent Cole deserves better. More importantly, Jim Johnson, Buddy Ryan and Bud Carson deserve better. Reid should have canned Ginger after the Titans comeback (if not earlier) and replaced him with Dick Jauron, the seasoned NFL-lifer and current Eagles defensive backs coach.

I will scream my head off for Andy to give Rob Ryan a look, but am only wasting my breath. He may eventually make a change this offseason (anything he says to the media should be taken with a grain of salt), but it will undoubtedly come from an in-house promotion.

Guess we’re satisfied with giving up red zone touchdowns and third down conversions, as long as we don’t have to pay anyone to coach.

*In his day after press conferece The Walrus claimed he was hungry for a Super Bowl… And prime rib. He also said he craved fish and prawn, but the comment was muffled by the two large tusks protrudding from his mouth.

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Posted by Chase Wexler

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